Here are some things I could do today, but wont because they are just too cruel.
1) Phone Mom, tell her we are having a baby.
2) Replace food bank items with inedible things (packing peanuts with styrofoam chips etc.)
3) Add in, "Just kidding, man you are a rube!" after the last verse of Revelation in every pew bible.
4) Leave a note at my desk, "Gone home to be with Jesus, turns out the premillenialists were right and you've been left behind. Have fun defeating
Nikolai Carpathia!"
5) Replace office coffe with decaf, reenact Sleeping Beauty where the whole kingdom goes to sleep.
6) Go around to every parishioner I see and ask THEM why they didnt come to see me while I was in the hospital for an hour yesterday afternoon.
7) Laugh at myself for being so serious on a beautiful day like today.
1 comment:
Yes, number 1 would have been entirely too cruel. Your Mother isn't as young as she used to be and may not have been able to take the shock. Besides, you may want to remain in her will.
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