This coming week my brother Sean and I are embarking on an adventure. He and I are going to Disneyland for the first time. This is a brothers trip, a chance to have some fun together, to get to know one another again. It also has a lot more underlying meaning to me than I had anticipated.
First, This is Sean's first big vacation. He has never been, well, anywhere. In his huge imagination this is going to be far beyond reality. I don't expect him to be disappointed, I know he is going to love it. For me this is a chance to be the big brother I have always wanted to be. I feel into a bad cycle for a while there, being more like a parent than a brother, bossing Sean around and telling him what to do, even up until very recently and I am very much looking forward to being is Disneyland with him, letting him make decisions, where we eat, what we do next. I mean I have planned out a lot of it, but more the general outline and through our time together I want Sean to be free to make some decisions for us. I want us to be a team and I feel really good about that.
Second, I am pretty nervous about being the guy in charge overall. I am responsible for Sean and we are away and push come to shove I need to step up. You may think that shouldn't be that hard for me but it is a little scary when its family. I want him to have a good time, and if I worry to much I will wreck that so even if a concern arises I have to keep my cool. I am not, however, anticipating anything negative happening I just realize that I am feeling a little apprehensive about that.
Thirdly, and more difficult, is that I just realized now that my parents are coming with me on this trip, whether Sean and I want them to or not. I love my parents, I have a good relationship with them and care about them so much and in some conversations lately I thin I have felt frustrated with the underlying feeling that we are struggling over control on this whole endeavor. Then I realized both of their children, the only kids they have are for the first time traveling beyond their reach. I have gone away, been at school for a long time, that sort of thing. But Sean hasn't, he has always been at home, and I think parents are protective of their children no matter how old they are let alone when one of them has Downs. Sean is a pretty independent soul, he is also a very kind and loving soul and I know he loves my mom and dad very very much but I think he gets to be unaware of how hard this is for them while I have to think on it, talk to them about it, and put it all out there. It is all in all a very strange feeling.
Fourth, and finally… I AM GOING TO DISNEYLAND, and I am sooooo excited that I get to go there and while I would love to go with my wife, some friends, my folks, Candace's folks, and lots of other people… I wouldn't trade this trip for anything. Not because it's Disneyland but because I am going with Sean, an amazing little brother and an all around fun guy to hang out with, and I am stoked that I get to see the look on his face when we do all the things we are planning to do. This is going to be a blast.
2 comments:
make sure you do the space mountain and indiana jones rides. they are sweet.
The best time for rides is during parades and fireworks. The lines are shortest. Also, leave the park to eat. You can eat three times at the Denny's across the street as you can eat once at the pizza place inside for the same price.
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