Wreaking Hammock

The following is an excerpt from my brain circa yesterday morning. I will set the stage a little bit for you first.

Monday. My day off, get up and putter around as I usually do. I have been watching the Halloween movies with my cousin and hanging out. I was up ridiculously late and feeling very bleary when I happened to look out the window to see my hammock frame missing the actual hammock which had been there the day prior.

"hey, my hammock is gone and it looks like someone moved the BBQ. *gasp* someone stole my hammock."

"Wait, who would steal a hammock. And if they stole the hammock what the heck would they use it for?"

Cue: Image of a homeless guy using it as a sleeping mat.

"Hey that actually makes sense. Still it's kind of creepy that someone was skulking around on our porch."

*goes to check that the TV and everything, which can be seen through the porch window, are still there.

"Gosh, I hope they don't come back with bigger intentions. If we wanted to catch them we could move the car down to the church and then sit here in the dark and wait for them to break in… this doesn't sound entirely like a rational way to solve the problem. Still, it's weird, and hey it's something to blog about… I could call it… Wreaking Hammock! Ooooh, that is too good! I have to use that. I am a genius!"

Goes and has shower, heads downstairs to grab some clothes.

"Seriously this is weird. I wonder if Candace maybe took it down, but she usually leaves stuff like that up to me…"

Rounds the corner, sees into the storage room… and sees the hammock nicely folded.

"Man, she did take it down… but wreaking hammock is just too good to not use…"

Walks away disappointed no one stole his hammock and feels bad for the homeless guy who has to sleep on the cold cold ground. Considers finding a homeless guy to give his hammock too.