How to repair an Xbox 360

So I have been at war with my beloved Xbox 360 for the last couple of days. I am not sure what I did to it, perhaps I didn’t pay enough attention to it and have been lacking in the quality time. Whatever it was, it is no longer speaking to me. It has frozen me out, but not before frustrating the crap out of me beforehand.
The thing has a warranty, so I can get it repaired, but the process is kind of a pain. It isn’t like Microsoft sends a guy out to fix your machine on the spot. The process actually goes as follows:

Step 1: Phone the number on your service contract.

Step 2: Go through the menu system, listening to every word in every menu because they haven’t figured out how to have you push the button mid-narration (NOTE: This is MICROSOFT!).

Step 3: After having had the phone system put you through to a line with a freakin busy signal, phone them back, repeating steps 1 & 2 this time including mild expletives.

Step 4: Talk to person who works at Microsoft and thinks you are to stupid to follow the simple steps the phone narrator has already led you through to get to this point. Yes, it is frozen, yes I unplugged it, yes I have taken the game out, yep, still frozen, yes I have uplugged all the cables, no I don’t ride the shortbus.

Step 5: Seriously contemplate inserting Star Wars Lego II into “helpy helpster” on the other end of the line to see if this fixes the problem.

Step 6: After sharing my idea with “helpy”, phone back and repeat steps 1 through 4.

Step 7: Ask how I would go about having this fixed. Reply is, “we will send you a box, place the 360 in the box without anything else and send it to us, we will send you back a new one…”

Step 8: Ask if they are sure this is the only way…

Step 9: Wait for box.

Step 10: Box comes… debate being without the 360 for 10 days (I also use it as DVD player and to watch TV through) decide to turn it on one last time to see if it has somehow fixed itself… and of course it works…

Step 11: After 2 days of working just fine, phone 360 “help” line, assure them I don’t speak French by pressing 1 and inform them the problem has fixed itself. They cancel the order…

Step 12: Five minutes after making the phone call the 360 freezes, I swear it is sentient and after that I just swear… a lot… but it still works for the most part aside from the occasional freeze…
Step 13: Put up with this crap for 2 more days before breaking down and calling Microsoft again… still don’t speak French. A helpful representative offers free flirting along with service, I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was married, poor deluded girl… for all she knows I am a fat, balding… never mind. She tells me I shouldn’t plug the 360 into a power bar (!?!) this seems to work… I am happy…

Step 14: Till the next day when it starts doing it again. I am sure it hates me…

Step 15: Still don’t speak French…

Step 16: Tell guy my 360 is currently on fire so he will send me a flippin’ new box…

Step 17: Am currently waiting for new box… the first box came in a day, this one is three days and counting… * sigh *

Step 18: Hook-up now ugly stepchild original Xbox as substitute, which works fine. On the up-side cannot watch The Notebook which Candace taped for us to watch because of outdated copyright protection.

Step 19: Wait for 360 to come back and apologize to it, pledging my undying devotion from now on. Ike loves ya baby! Ike won’t do it again!

Long live Microsoft!!!

WARNING: Video has a swear word so cover your ears and sing lalalalala...