Present and accounted for...

OK, so my first birthday present arrived today and I am feeling pretty antsy. Like an addict desperate for the next hit I shake and tremble, trying to resist the gifty goodness. I am terrible with gifts. I get all giggly and excited, it’s sad really. It isn’t because I think I am anything special, I just think gifts are such a neat concept. You give someone something you think they would like and you do it just because you appreciate them. It is the Gospel, wrapped with a bow.
My birthday isn’t until next week, but Candace’s parents live in Alberta and usually send a package a week or so before hand, and my wrestling with the devil begins. Do I or don’t I? Do I wait until the day and open everything at once, or do I drag it out so that I get to open a couple of things a day for a bunch of days? What is the proper etiquette for such things. Candace seems to feel I need to wait, but Candace has a stronger will than I do when it comes to theses things.
When I was a kid, my buddy Korey and I never waited to tell each other what we got the other for birthday/Christmas. If one of us asked, we told the other, it was just that simple. Except now I don’t seem to have grown out of that. I now look at each gift and wonder what’s there. Again, like an addict, after they are opened I have a temporary sense of euphoria followed by feelings of shame and failure. J However, that wears off quickly.
This year there was an unfortunate mishap with one intended gift that kinda sucked. I am up in the morning fairly early, and last week the phone rang at 7:30am. I pick it up and the lady on the other end says, “I am calling in regards to the Corner Gas XXL Mechanics shirt you ordered.” Normally this would be an expected phone call had I been the one that had ordered the shirt, except I wasn’t the one who ordered the shirt, my wife did. And it was for my birthday.
By this time Candace had woken up and come out to hear me say, “I think you probably want to talk to my wife.” With as much disdain as I could muster. Poor Candace looked heartbroken, she had tried so hard to hide this from me and everything was going fine until the lady neglected to look at the flippin time zone we lived in, so she phoned before I went off to the office rather than after. So Candace went ahead with the order and I could hear here talking to this lady, who apparently felt like Candace was speaking gibberish because my wife said everything at least twice. After she hung up you could tell she was miffed, I was too a little bit. I appreciated the thoughtfulness of my wife and this thoughtless individual had wrecked a surprise. As a result of this though, we got a couple of free air fresheners, so now we have a Corner Gas logo hanging in the window and the car smells like fresh baked cinnamon rolls, so there was a very thin silver lining to the whole thing, I guess.
The shirt arrived yesterday, and it is sweeeeeet although I look a little too much like Brent I think. Then again I love the show and as you get older your heroes change. I admire a guy that see the humour in his family and friends. I will try and post a pic if I can. Anyhoo, the point is I am trying not to think about presents, specifically the one that is sitting on my desk right now. Must…. not…. give…. in…. wife… will… behead… me… Actually that may just solve the problem right there. See, solutions present themselves when you talk things out!