Times, they are a changin'

"There is nothing permanent, except change"
Greek Proverb

I am starting to wonder if there is even such a thing as “transitional phases” in life. In looking back at life in the last few years it seems that ALL of it is transitional and every time I feel like I get a grip on one thing. I don’t normally write personal things on here, but I need to get this out somewhere and here seems as good a place as any.
I love stability. I always have. I enjoy staying in one place and moving forward in that one place. I like it when things don’t drastically change and alter. Since I was a kid I have loved routine, and I know it seems daft to become a Pastor in light of this but when you are in ministry for a few years it becomes a nice mix of a stable base (visiting, preaching, marrying, burying) and a chance for the creative new things that move the church forward. The thing is the church is not the source of all of my thoughts. My life has had so many changes in the last few years it is a little hard to keep up with it all.
I have become a husband, which has been amazing. With that comes a lot of comfort and feeling loved, but it also makes for some difficulties too. Before you go thinking I am going to slam marriage or my wife let me stop you right there. That is just not the case. The bigger problem is trying to manage our lives so that we can actually see each other. Either I am working or she is working. She is a teacher, and this means putting in long hours. Teachers don’t just go home at 4:30 and forget the day, somewhere they have to find time to mark and plan, and the more I see what is involved the more I marvel at Candace. She puts everything she has into what she does and has given me a great amount of admiration for those who take on the responsibility of stepping out there and being teachers. The difficulty comes from the fact that we are one of those gag-me-with-a-spoon affectionate couples and really like to spend time with each other and lately that has been brutal. For the last, like, 4 months I have been going, “When April gets here and Easter is over, things will slow down” Bwahaha, good luck with that one. I changed it to May, now to June, and I am beginning to wonder if there is ever going to be downtime for us.
I don’t want to give you the impression I am just being bitter because my wife is working because I am not, I am so proud of her and who she is. God has given her an amazing vocation and if you know her like I know her you know she is built to be a teacher, she excels at it, and is totally passionate about her job as I am about mine. Between the meetings, the special events, and all the other stuff that goes on around here it is hard to know which way is up around here on occasion. Time management is something I am sensitive to, but the tricky part is maintaining that when everything is in constant flux. “OK, I have a meeting on Tuesday night, a home visit Wednesday, there’s a family thing on Thursday, and Alive on Friday (although that is done now, which does make for a nice break).” The crazy thing is I LIKE doing all this stuff. I think the struggle I am having is more of a not enough hours in the day kind of thing.
Getting back to the transition thing though. Here is what makes all of the above difficult:
In the last few years I have moved 3 times

"He who builds to every man's advice will have a crooked house"
Danish Proverb

I had to get used to working with new people including a Senior Pastor who at first I did not get along with. Now we are getting along really well and I am learning a tonne from him and he is retiring in the fall making me the sole Pastor here unless God provides a new guy right away which still means I have to adapt to working with a totally new Pastor with a completely different set of traits and while I can look forward to an amicable relationship eventually (I like that eventually I seem to be able to get along with almost everybody I work with) I still face a time of probably a year where we find any kind of rhythm. So either I am working on my own as Pastor for a while (which has its enticements, but is still a largely terrifying prospect), or I am trying to adapt to the new guy (which is generally exciting but gives me worries about who God is going to bring here)

My wife has started teaching which has meant that she is happy in her career and vocation, and that the income has meant a nice quality of life that we can enjoy and in which we feel blessed, but between the two of us it makes for some creative finagling to spend quality time together when we have a hard time finding energy to do stuff even when we are free so we end up watching TV together, which is nice but has its obvious drawbacks.

[I know that many of these paragraphs have run-on sentences but that is a little bit how I feel right now in life: there may be the occasional comma, but true breaks are hard to find.]

I am content with my day off, but admit that while having Mondays to myself has been productive in terms of housework and personal leisure time I miss going to the mall with Candace, or going to White Rock, or any of the number of things we used to do.

"It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time."
Winston Churchill

I am not really sure what the point of all this is. I guess in many ways I needed to organize some thoughts. I guess a good way to sum it up is that I really feel like life right now is in a rather precarious balance in that I am actually fairly content in many ways, and not so much in a few important ways, but have fear that balance is in danger of shifting the wrong way at any moment. I am not depressed or sad, disenchanted might be a better word. I know God has my back, has OUR back, and there is that lingering sinful aspect that wishes He would let me in on the secret bits.

"Maturity is the capacity to endure uncertainty"
John Finley