Critical Mass

Iron Man 2 (2010)

2010-05-12T10:25:00.001-07:00

Iron man was one of the first comics I ever collected. I was only allowed to collect three at a time and along with Alpha Flight (Canadian superhero team!) and Transformers, Tony Stark always found a place in my collection. I loved the adventure aspect to the stories that had a dash of esponiage to them as well. As a James Bond fan, Stark always came across to me as essentially the same guy but with a ridiculously cool set of armour.

I started collecting Iron Man with issue 195, which takes place right before the huge Iron Man 200 which saw Tony get new armour and his battle with Ironmonger on which the first Iron Man movie was based. It's been a while since I have read Iron Man in comic form though. If I remember right my discerning tastes saw the art going downhill and I jumped ship. I have looked in on Tony from time to time but never as intensely as I did as a kid.

For me, the Iron Man movies are intensely nostalgic. As a kid I fantasized about how amazing an X-Men movie would be, or a Spider-Man movie, or an IRON MAN MOVIE! I was excited when I heard production was moving forward on the first one. When Jon Favreau came on board as director I was really stoked because he is a character driven director first which tells me the powers that be are taking the movie seriously and then they cast Robert Downey Jr. and my head nearly exploded. In my mind there has never been a more perfect actor for a part than this. Robert Downey Jr. has the right attitude and in real life, much like Stark, treads on the edge of addiction with a sense of arrogance and narcissism that somehow makes him charming and irresistible at the same time. To top it off Jeff Bridges was playing the bad guy! My suspicions were correct as Iron Man arrived in theatres and I loved every minute of it. I saw it twice the first week of release (which is rare for me). They captured the character perfectly, the origin story was bang on and surprisingly close to the original (in the comic he was in Korea which was a hotbed when then comic was created as opposed to Afghanistan where he was in the film), and the action was amazing. I wasn't a huge fan of the armour design, but hey it could have been worse. The icing on the cake was the scene at the end of the credits in which we meet Nick Fury and realize that something much bigger might be going on here.

Then came Iron Man 2. Not surprising considering how crazy popular the first one was (can I say its nice to know that I am not alone in my geek love for Tony Stark?) and I am glad to say I enjoyed this one even more. The biggest reason is that this one feels like it is taking place in a bigger comic universe. There are a ton of references to other characters (don't worry, you don't have to know them all to enjoy the movie) like Captain America's shield, and another one that is a cool surprise at the end of the credits. New concepts are introduced like the War Machine armour worn by Rhodes (played well by Terrence Howard in the first one, and better by Don Cheadle in the second) and Justin Hammer, a rival arms dealer. Additionally the trademark suitcase armour that is so loved from the comics makes an AWESOME appearance in the movie.

There was one thing that confused the heck out of me when I was reading about the development of Iron Man 2. Whiplash. Whiplash sucks. He has always sucked. In the comic he is one of the weakest villains in Iron Man's respectable rogues gallery (he is one of the few in the Marvel Comics Universe who can claim a good rogues gallery). I HATE Whiplash. When I heard he was going to be the bad guy in the next movie I would have spewed milk out my nose had I been drinking it at the time. Then they cast Mickey Rourke. The comeback king who must have gotten a best agent in Hollywood based on how the guy's career has suddenly come to life. He was absolutely amazing in the Wrestler so I was heartened to hear he would be playing the part. Still, WHIPLASH!??!? As it turns out they took a few more liberties with character this time round which is a good thing in my mind because it brought a lot of elements together very well.

Iron Man 2 opens to Tony Stark facing multiple threats. After coming out as Iron Man at the end of the first movie the industrialist is having to answer for his armour to congress while squaring off against sharks like Justin Hammer who are all trying to imitate his new weapon. Congress is demanding he hand the armour over to them while Tony eats up the limelight as he has successfully privatized world peace. It raises some interesting questions for sure. What would happen if a guy created some crazy piece of advanced technology and was suddenly able to beat anyone on the planet? It is for this reason that Iron Man 2 has a cold war feel to it. Everyone is a little bit scared about what the other guy will do. Then Rourke's Ivan Vanko enters into the picture. Vanko's father helped Tony's father develop some of the tech we know from the first movie, namely the arc reactor that fuels Stark Industries and Iron Man himself. Vanko's father tried to sell the secrets to the enemy and ended up sent back to Russia to languish and eventually die in exile. Ivan is no slouch in the physics department and develops an arc reactor similar to Tony's and attaches "whips" to the which unleash the energy so they can cut through pretty much anything… race cars… Tony Stark…

Vanko comes to claim his birthright from Stark, teams up with Hammer who really wants to have the Iron Man armour… yada yada yada Iron Man saves the day. Seriously though, there is a lot going on in this movie that is good. Tony's relationship with Pepper (Gwyneth Paltrow as a redhead is crazy attractive), Tony's relationship with Rhodes which is complicated by Rhodes' duties to his government, and the overarching conflict. There were a few things I found to be a bit of a cheat and made for weak story telling. First, Tony's mini arc reactor is killing him (think radiation poisioning) and he only has days to live which leads him on a self-destructive binge. This doesn't sound so bad but when you see it on screen it feel shoehorned in there. Of course a solution is found and everything turns out OK which certainly doesn't help that aspect of a mystery created for a mystery's sake. Second, the question must have come up as to how to top Tony's fight with Ironmonger in the first one, to which someone likely responded, "Simple, add more of them!" Well, not exactly but it does come across that way as Iron Man and War Machine (who is so awesome onscreen its not even funny) face off against a bunch of Hammer's drones and finally against Vanko who now has an armour of his own. It works fine, but they have definitely exhausted the armoured guy vs. armoured guy route for sure. It makes for good fights but it does nothing to make you feel like Stark is really at risk. You know Iron Man is going to live through this, but IM2 failed to make me think the guy might be hurt or damaged from the battle.

It is a good movie (minor griped aside) and certainly a great start to the summer. It is worth seeing in the theatre for sure. Its nice to know that at my age childhood dreams are still coming true.

Crazy Heart (2009)

2010-04-23T14:03:00.001-07:00

I hadn't heard about this movie until the Oscar nominations when Jeff Bridges was nominated for Best Actor. I love Jeff Bridges. He has starred in some of my favorite quirky movies and I think the guys is an amazing actor. As The Dude in The Big Lebowski the man is a legend with an attitude and quotes that make me giggle every time. In Men Who Stare at Goats he almost reprises the role as the man who founded the US Military's psychic division (apparently this is also based in truth somehow, gotta love the 80s). In Crazy Heart he plays fictional country legend Bad Blake, a burned out musician who has fallen to playing Bowling Alleys for chump change while his protégé has gone one to ridiculous success. Blake is fading into obscurity and he knows it and rather than fight it he helps it along with cigarettes, booze and women… until he meets Jane. Bridges deserved the Oscar for this performance. Blake runs the gamut of emotions once he realizes he may not be going quietly into the good night after all. He finds the love of a younger woman who has a son who loves him too. Late in life he find the family that has always eluded him and is inspired to be better.

The music in this movie is equally amazing. I hate modern country, but thrown on some Johnny Cash and I'm there. T-Bone Burnett, who has produced some amazing soundtracks in the last couple of years, notably Oh Brother, Where Art Though provides the kind of music one needs to make a film like this work. This film needed to be full of country music that was good enough to make you wonder why you had never heard it before. Bad Blake is a legend because of his songwriting and this movie could have failed outright if it had terrible music but I have to say it is totally amazing. It is deep and soulful, thought provoking and sorrowful… reason enough to see the movie.

I think the thing that blew me away about the movie in the end is how optimistic it really is. We should never count ourselves out or give up just because life is in a downward swing. You never know what will happen next, where you will be taken. Its tough to feel depressed after Bad Blake gets done with you, that's for sure.

The Blind Side (2009)

2010-04-23T13:47:00.001-07:00

If I had known this movie was based on a true story I would have skipped it. There are no words that make me shudder more than "based on a true story". Personally I have never wanted to see true stories on the screen. I prefer my movies to be stories. They can look like real life, play out like real life, as long as they are fiction. But hey, that's just me. I am glad I didn't find out about the Blind Side until I was a ways into it then, because I was pleasantly surprised by the great story and the terrific acting.

Had I been a football fan I might have been familiar with Michael Oher and his life. An African-American man who grew up in poverty with danger and drugs all around him manages, through fate and circumstance to get out of it with the help of a Christian school and a Christian family that goes the extra mile and goes on to become an NFL star. Sandra Bullock deserved the Oscar. She does so well as the tough hard-nosed mom who has hopes for Michael and helps him find his dreams.

It was refreshing to see a movie in which life is portrayed so hopefully. You really end up rooting for Michael from the very beginning because he is the gentle giant and the pay off is huge in the end. I am not gonna write a massive review for this one simply because I think everyone should see it for themselves. I normally detest these kinds of movies and it totally sold me, which is saying something.

Kick-Ass (2010)

2010-04-23T13:39:00.001-07:00

I have read comics since I was a kid. Like any other kid I have fantasized about having powers, what those powers would be and how I would use them. I have wondered what real life heroes would be like, given that powers just aren't real. What are the limits of what a person can do. Mark Millar used this as his central premise in creating Kick-Ass. It was created as a comic and a movie simultaneously, and I have read the comic and I was curious to see if the movie would confirm my suspicions. To me the story need to be realistic. If you are going to tell a story that takes place in my world then I want to believe it is happening in my world. Unfortunately this never really plays out and comes across more like a parallel world that exists somewhere between ours and the realm of heroes.

Dave, a geek, decides that the world needs heroes and so orders a wet-suit off the internet, dons a mask and becomes Kick-Ass. The scene brilliantly parodies the Spider-Man origin from a few years ago. From there Dave tries to help people in trouble and shows, as the big bad in the movie says, you should have been called, "Ass-Kicked". The thing of it is, Dave never really gets better at it. Coincidence and Deus Ex Machina elevate him slightly but he never truly show that he has the brawn to match the brave in himself. Along the way he meets other "heroes" Big Daddy and Hit Girl, the more controversial characters of the film. Imagine if the vigilante hero Punisher had an 11 year old daughter and trained her to be lethal in a million ways. This is where most people will get uncomfortable if they are going to get uncomfortable in the film. Hit Girl slices, she dices, she has a mouth like a trucker and childhood innocence is assassinated along with myriad drug dealers. It is played to be funny, but on film its just plain creepy/weird/inappropriate. I am a moderate guy, I see a lot of films that push the boundaries, but this just failed for me. She gets beat on towards the end of the film and there is just no way to appropriately show a 40+ trained martial artist punching an 11 year old girl in the face… a lot. It goes beyond disconcerting.

The reality issues come up in a few other areas as well. First of all, if you want to convince me that this is my world how about you don't use one of the most clichéd bad guy groups in film history. The mob? Really? That was the best "real world" villain you can come up with? YIKES! Second, I am not one to nitpick on bad language in a movie but swearing is used to such a degree in this movie that it makes you weep for the English language. Its amazing there is room for plot development and exposition in between the curses.

I liked a lot of the movie, and that is the weird thing. It is stylistically made. There are moments the premise plays out well, and the relationships between Dave and his friends are genuine and believable. I loved the hilarious storyline where Dave fails to correct a girl on the notion that he's gay in order to stay close to her. At times it was very funny and paid off well later on in the film. The acting was done well, with the exception being Christopher Mintz-Plasse of McLovin fame playing Red Mist. He never seemed to fit in the world for me.

It always sucks when you are really looking forward to a movie and it fails as this one did for me. I am glad I saw but I wont be rushing out to see it again.

Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009)

2010-04-12T12:48:00.001-07:00

Seriously. Yes, I watched it, and if I am to remain honest in the purpose of this blog which is to review every movie I see then I must review this one! Possibly the biggest surprise of all is that I liked it. Rest assured I will explain why.

I saw the first movie back when it first came out on DVD because I was looking for something, anything new to watch and The Chipmunks was all I could find. I was surprised at how faithful it was to the original cartoon and music material, how much the characters felt like the ones I knew. Dave was Dave, Alvin was Alvin, etc. Basically if you didnt like the chipmunks then you werent going to have great love for the movie. But then isnt that the point? Why would you see it if you hated the original material?

The Squeakquel introduces Alvin, Simon, and Theodore to the world of public school where they face bullies and other such cliche school situations. They also get to meet the Chipettes, the girl versions of themselves who are destined to one day get married to them and have many many broods of talking wiseacre rodents (I sense a partridge family-esque sequel on the way). Just as in the cartoon the 'Munks and the Chipettes are put into competition against each other in a singing competition that will win their school 25,000 bucks for the music program.

This movie will not reveal profound truths to you. It will never win an Oscar or any other award. What it does is give you exactly what it says it is... a movie about the Chipmunks. If you loved them as a kid, you will love them now. If you hated it as a kid, you will hate them now. I loved their show in the 80's, it was fun and had good music.

I do have one question though. As the credits rolled I was amazed to see the Chipmunks and the Chipettes were voiced by the likes of Justin Long and Jesse McCartney, Amy Poehler and Christina Appelgate but for the life of me I cant figure out why! The voices are so high pitched and the vocal patterns so specific to the characters that it renders celebrity voices moot. It doesnt make the movie better or worse, it just means they spent money for something unnecessary (In Hollywood!?!?! surely not ;) )

As fluff movies go, there are worse ways to spend 1 hour 28 minutes.

Clash of the Titan (1981 & 2010)

2010-04-09T16:04:00.000-07:00

As a child I loved mythology of all kinds. I read it all the time and I credit the stories of Perseus, Hercules and all the Gods of Olympus with giving me a passion for comics. Their exploits were amazing and I simply could not get enough.

I would love to say I knew where I was when I saw Clash of the Titans for the first time but I honestly dont remember. What I do know is that this masterpiece is firmly etched in my mind as a personal favorite.

Perseus the hero goes on a quest to save his love and defeat the Kraken (borrowed from Norse mythology) so that he may not munch on the love of his life Andromeda. Throughout his journey he faces peril of all kinds on his trusty steed Pegasus and accompanied by a group of monster fodder soldiers along with Bubo, a totally off the wall mechanical owl who is arguably the most iconic creature of the whole show. Perseus faces the Stygian witches, Medusa, giant scorpions, Kalibos, and a couple of two headed dogs for good measure.

This was the last film done by legendary special effects pioneer Ray Harryhausen (quick fact: The restaurant in Monsters Inc. is named Harryhausen's after him) and it is a masterpiece of stop-motion animation. The designs are fantastic (if now a little dated)and you can see the care that went into making it.

The performances are pretty good with Harry Hamlin in the role of Perseus. I get the feeling he was supposed to be kind of an "it" guy at the time, but I havent seen him in much else beyond TV. Burgess Meredith acts as Perseus' corner man (see what I did there?) and the likes of Laurence Olivier, Ursula Andress and Maggie Smith (Professor McGonagal to you younger lot) inhabit the hallowed halls of Olympus.

This flick is nostalgic no question. I love it now because I loved it when I was young. It isnt going to hold to the cynical viewer all keen on CGI and modern filmmaking. It is a fun movie, a movie you can laugh at, cheer with, and enjoy.

On April 2 a remake of Clash of the Titans was unleashed upon the world. I was excited for this movie. The cast seemed amazing, the story was well known. What would the new Kraken look like? How would Perseus save his love Andromeda?

As it turns out the remake is the pissy and brooding younger sibling of the original. Dark and forboding it likely spent its formative stages locking itself in its room listening to emo music to get good a ready to make the world feel its angst.

Perseus is now an adopted fisherman whose family gets killed by Hades and he wants revenge for such a transgression. The quest remains much the same as the first film only this time it is motivated by the need for blood vengeance instead of love. Who needs romance anyway? Romance is for losers! Well what it does is make Perseus a self-righteous jerk who is willing to get a number of people killed to meet his need for blood. Yes, he will save Argos in the process but that isnt really important to him.

Neither is Andromeda. Apparently a girl cant even get a date as a princess anymore, even when she is offering a kingdom! Perseus simply blows her off to go on to further adventures... if the box office warrants it.

This movie is so dark it actually made me laugh. This years Pegasus now comes as a sleek black model! OOOOH! Now I dont have to feel all inspired and happy with the white version. White horses are so, so, heroic... ewwww... *sigh* And poor Bubo is used as a single visual gag and then literally tossed aside. I get it, this is not the old Clash of the Titans! But here is the problem... I LIKE the old Clash. It was fun and romantic and cool. It was also colourful! This movie looks like it was dragged through the ashes of the underworld before being put on the reel.

I did enjoy the fight scenes. They were well staged and exciting. I liked a lot of the cookie cutter characters whom you never really get to know but each have their own charisma. The effects and creature designs were... OK. Its funny how state of the art CGI has somehow made movies less creative with the designs. The Kraken looked like a seafood platter come to life, like a hermit crab and a giant squid had an illicit affair and now junior is trying to find his place in this world. Just like every other major character here. I could swear as a squinted at the screen I could just make out earbuds and hear the distant riffs of Fallout Boy as the Kraken descended upon Argos.

If this were not a remake I dont think I would be as critical. My biggest problem is that it took all the fun out of it! How am I supposed to cheer for Perseus when he is such a self-centred doorknob for most of the film? It was worth seeing once... not sure I'll be picking it up when it comes to Blu-Ray though...

Blogsolete

2010-03-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

I have been having a debate within myself about the nature of the internet and how fleeting this technological world really is. Times change, tech changes and new opportunities to communicate pop up with frightening regularity. What I once used my blog for, posting random non-sequiters and other such things, is now largely and more capably taken care of by Facebook. Which has left me with the conundrum as to what to do with this blog. Do I stubbornly hang on to it. Posting every month or so? Do I abandon it for other no doubt temporary spaces? What to do...

Through this blog I have fulfilled a dream of mine. I have always wanted to be a writer. Granted I always pictured it in a more grandiose way, a more fictional way. I wanted to be the next Stephen King or JK Rowling or... whatever. Through this blog I have grown to appreciate writing in a way I never did before which has helped me come to the conclusion that it does provide a unique and interesting way to communicate. I believe though that it is time for me to repurpose it. Arguably it is more of a return to what it once was. If you look back far enough to the beginning I did write stories and do a lot of reviews for books, movies etc. and this is what I want to return to. I believe it will also help me to expand my hobby of the craft of film and allow me to share that a little bit with others. It is my intension to write, however briefly, a review of every film I see this year whether in theater or on Blu-Ray. I am not going to comment on anything but the film itself and I'll leave the technical picture and sound commentary to those who know it best. I would rather reflect the writings of some of my critical heroes, Roger Ebert and Harry Knowles, and talk about how a film speaks to me and why I like it.

Many have said I like every movie I see, which I think this blog will clear up a lot. I rarely see a movie I dont want to see (who does?) and therefore I do tend to look for the best in a film, but as Roger Ebert puts it, sometimes you just have to say, "You're movie sucks!". My reviews will likely go all over the place in the cinematic world, not just new films but also personal nostalgic classics and more fringe films I have heard about.

Right now I am fascinated with the guerrilla-like filmmaking of the 70's and 80's, how film became so much about making a quick buck while at the same time committing to celluloid some of the weirdest attempts at shock filmmaking ever seen. I also love documentaries and try to find ones that are a bit outside the box. I will review books as I finish them, animation as it comes, and do tribute pieces as I see fit. It may seem ambitious since I have written here since February, but the problem was never having nothing to say (any who know me are fully aware this could never be true) but simply WHAT to say and hopefully it will be something worth reading.

Additionally if you ever have an idea for a film you think I should see just plop it in the comments section and I WILL watch it and let everyone know what I think (provided it is a serious request and doesnt involve me sitting through something you hated)!

Expect a re-design in the next little bit, and likely a retitling as well.

See ya soon!

Reading Rampage

2010-02-16T10:11:00.001-08:00

As I walked down the halls of the school I get to see a lot of things, usually the kids artwork and projects which is always cool. A school as small as ours allows me to get to know the kids so when I see their projects I know who made them and can see who has genuine talent, who tried really really hard, and who could care less about it (an attitude I had at times from what I remember). This week the poster for Reading Rampage went up. Reading Rampage is the reading competition we have each year where the kids read as many books as possible from a list and the event culminates in a big trivia quiz thingy at the end. Basically it is an attempt to make reading as exciting as football or hockey and for those who see reading as the best thing ever it totally succeeds. I love it because it get some kids reading who don't have the full passion for it yet and any excuse to read is a good one.

Candace and I read to Cordelia a fair bit, I buy her books all the time. Richard Scarry, Tiny Titans (a comic book for those learning to read), and pretty much anything that looks fun while teaching reading (Cowboy, Ninja, Bear was a fun find that modifies the whole Rock, Paper, Scissors game and gives it a cute legend). All the focus on reading lately has helped me to realize how negligent I have been of my own imagination through the written word. I love reading. I have always loved reading. In this modern world though I have a lot of distractions of the video variety. Games, TV shows, movies, you name it I was getting distracted by it. I have always been reading comic books but it isn't the same as reading an old fashioned wordy tome and letting your mind do the work of envisioning characters and defining words that you may not readily know. I didn't realize how much I had missed it until I started reading again.

It actually began as a way to be near Candace and Cordelia at bed time (for Cordy) in case Candace needed me or if I needed to give putting our daughter to sleep a shot (something we are fighting with her on right now) but now I read on after she is asleep and sometimes after Candace has gone to sleep beside me. I am feeling a little trepidatious as I type this because I want to keep it going but thus far I have only gotten through one book and just started another last night. The first book was huge though. I got two copies of Stephen King's "Under the Dome" for Christmas as a sort of omen that I needed to read this one which is an easy task as I absolutely loooove Stephen King. Say what you want about the world's most popular and most criticized novelist, the man knows how to weave a tale. At 1078 pages Dome weighs in as one of his longest books like The Stand or Needful Things but the guy is a master of large scale, huge cast books and I was eating it up. As I got back into reading my mind was like a dry sponge beginning to get its first taste of water in a while. My imagination was in overdrive and I simply couldn't put it down (unless I had to), every night I got to reading a little longer and a little longer. I enjoyed every page, even though the book was slightly anticlimactic and I had that sadness that comes every time I finish a book. Its tale has been spent, there is nothing left but to say goodbye and grieve my companions of the last few feverish nights. Ah, but then there is the next adventure.

I am finding myself in a bit of a conundrum though, I have started my next book and it is a tougher read and I am not sure whether to continue with it or put it down and grab another until I am sure I can handle it and stick with the reading. I feel like have gone from jogging around the block to the Grouse Grind. The book is by one of my favorite authors (Jasper Fforde) but it is clear his vision is more complete in his head than what has come out onto the page thus far. Entitled "Shades of Grey" it takes place in a world ruled by a colortocracy where people are placed into category based on the colors they see the best. Its like a caste system based on colour. I would love to explain it further but I seriously cant yet. At times it is like I have somehow forgotten how to speak English and I must reread a sentence. Fforde often expects a lot of his readers and dives into world that are fully formed without sharing it all with the reader, an aspect I generally like because that is exactly how we experience our world after all. But in this case? Oy! So the question is do I keep at it and pray I don't lose this regained passion, or put it down to return to it when I ready for something a little more advanced? I want to keep going with it, and I have decided two more nights with it for sure but we'll have to wait and see I guess. I don't want my Reading Rampage to end until all volumes of lore lay defeated at my feet its just some of these monsters may be a little mighty to slay right now.

Ohlamepics

2010-02-05T09:41:00.000-08:00

So here we are just a few days shy of the olympics and here I am just as cynical as ever about them. I thought I might get more excited as they approach but it has been hard with all the negative media surrounding it here. On top of the media I have heard some mind-blowing personal stories of interactions with VanOC and it has kind of soured me on the whole thing.

I do think its cool that the whole world will be watching us, but it seems that in order to put on our best we must make a lot of sacrifices of the financial variety. Downtown is now closed to traffic as dozens of volunteers line the streets looking for something to do. People who live and work in Vancouver have to figure out on their own how to get there and how to get out. You are no longer allowed to take your bike on the Skytrain, no longer allowed to do a lot of the normally allowable. I suspect you are no longer allowed to be homeless either.

I dont plan on going anywhere near the Olympics when they are here. I will sit at home and watch them in HD with a better seat than those who paid 3000 for gold medal game tickets courtesy of legalized scalping on the Olympic website (in which VanOC gets a 20% cut, natch) with a beer that I bought at the store for 10% the cost of what one will be in the stadium. As I do this I can sit on my couch at any time without having to go through airport security at GM Place or BC place... or Whistler... or the Oval in Richmond.

To be honest it is not the sports themselves but the nature of the event. Looking at the money spent here on all these venues one cant help but feel a little ashamed. After Expo 86 I never would have thought I would see this again in Vancouver and yet here we are spending billions of dollars when most Olympics are not profitable. Expo at least brought the world to us and helped Vancouver to really grow, I am not sure what the benefit of this event will be yet. I DO hope things go well as I love the city of my birth. I may live in Surrey but my heart lives in Vancouver, it is the most beautiful city in the world to me. I just dont want its reputation tarnished as the world watches.

The Weight of the World

2010-01-13T10:30:00.001-08:00

It has been an interesting January thus far. January always seems to be an interesting month. When I say interesting I really mean difficult. Not for me so much, but for a lot of people around me. I have always been an empathetic sort of person. I tend to take on the emotions of those around me. I used to do it more than I am now, now I observe the feelings rather than allowing myself to be crushed by them. After all these are not my problems, simply problems in which I have been asked to be a listening ear and an open heart.

It would seem that the Christmas season takes its toll on folks financially, emotionally and even physically with the weather being gray and dreary as it is seasonal affective disorder is running roughshod over people. I am actually pretty energetic lately which is cool although I am officially dodging taking down the tree by doing other chores. In the last three weeks I have had so many conversations and heard so many struggles that folks are having. These are people I care about so ultimately you cant leave it all at the office, I cant simply shut it off without becoming cold and callous. I hope for them, pray for them but at the same time realize that I am not the one to save them. This is a hard realization but the truth. I am not put in this place to save others, but to tell them of the one who has already saved them. I can listen, I can sympathize, I can counsel, I can care but I cannot and must not try to save them because that is not how conflicts are resolved. In the case or marriage the couple must be willing to save each other, in the case of maturity a person can only choose to grow themselves as they are ready to, in the case of family conflict the family has to be open to move past it. Nothing that I can say or do can change a persons heart. I don't mean that in a defeatist way at all. I don't mean that I have given up trying to help people merely that I am thinking more about how it is that true help is given. My words can guide, God's Word can heal, but ultimately it is the person who must change themselves, be open to being changed by God.

I have had writers block for a while now. I have been preaching but the writing has been modified to be my own. The word is there and it is true, but the words themselves first rolled from someone else's ballpoint before my own thoughts move them closer to my way of speaking. I have had the thoughts above stuck in my craw I think. When it boils down to it I think what I am trying to get across is that sin is not just committed. Its consequences plague us, wear us down, hurt us and it is so hard to lay that burden aside because we want understand it first. I think many times we feel like we need to carry our burdens around with us as penance. I must carry this for a time until I feel like I have paid my due, paid the price for my mistake. Like Atlas, the weight of our world bears down upon us and we diligently carry it with us. It is exhausting. It is maddening. It is saddening. It takes us so long sometimes to realize that there is nothing to be learned in hanging on but only in letting go. In my experience it is the confession that is the harder part emotionally. Laying our burdens at the foot of the cross is not an easy task. I am fine carrying a heavy box but it is that last heave, that tinge of pain in putting it down that really sucks. Sure you are free of the box but wouldn't we all just prefer to avoid that bit of struggle.

Grace really is foreign to us isn't it? So often we look for ways to fix ourselves. There must be some step by step process to make me feel better. Something I can do. Something. The notion of God's absolute forgiveness and mercy is uncomfortable and hard to accept because in the confession there is the knowledge that He see the sin in us. He sees the burden, the weight on us and takes it upon Himself without asking our permission first. The sins have already been forgiven, the grace already made known. How painful it is for us to simultaneously know that it was out of our hands and yet completely necessary for God to die and rise for us, for me.

What is the point of all this? What am I trying to say? Well, for one I needed to record my thoughts of the last few weeks as I have been chewing on them awhile. For two, I too need to appreciate the grace of the God whom I serve on a daily basis. If I am to help others I must realize this grace is for me as well. There is no point is carrying my own burdens around or the burdens of those around me because it serves no purpose other than to salve my guilty conscience, to slake my thirst for feeling guilty. And yet grace is right there. It is not my intention for this to be preachy although I know it likely reads that way. My intention is to remind myself and maybe you, if you have stuck with me this far, that we don't believe in God to be constantly reminded of our burdens. We believe in God to be freed from them.

I think that writer's block is starting to slip a bit… J

Day 24 - Been saving this one...

2009-12-24T10:28:00.000-08:00

Well we made it the whole way through... if you have stuck with it... good on ya because it was a lot of fun putting it together. May you have a blessed and peaceful Christmas surrounded by friends and loved ones, and if you happen to get a little bit silly well that's OK too...

Day 23 - Charlie Brown needs to be more brutal!

2009-12-23T21:37:00.000-08:00

Steve Vai even sold out and did a guitar rendition of a Christmas classic... this is suprisingly yawn worthy though...

Day 22 - It came upon a Light Day clear...

2009-12-22T15:23:00.000-08:00

From the Star Wars Christmas special.... ladies and gentlemen... Princess Leia...

Day 21 - Christmas Down Unda

2009-12-21T21:35:00.000-08:00

A Christmas tune for those in the southern hemisphere... and for Matt Pain.

Day 20 - Double Dose... Mi Mi Mi Mi, Mi Mi Mi Mi

2009-12-20T09:05:00.000-08:00

I didnt really want to double up on performers but this is just too funny not to post...

Day 19 - Weird can be awesome

2009-12-20T09:02:00.000-08:00

Possibly the oddest duet in the history of duets, this is a weird Christmas tune but also awesome at the same time...

Day 18 - Wont Go Wont Go WONT GO

2009-12-18T15:25:00.000-08:00

Its made with figs.... and bacon... WHAT?

Day 17 - Oh Christmas Tree

2009-12-17T12:27:00.000-08:00

This is just terrible.... so terrible I wanted to share it with y'all...

Day 16 - God Rest Ye Merry Mr. Bean

2009-12-17T12:24:00.000-08:00

Great version of the song and funny to boot, includes some extra goodies too.

Day 15 - It was a dark and stormy night...

2009-12-15T11:20:00.000-08:00

Candace reminded me of this one as it had totally fallen out of my brain... great tune by the Royal Guardsmen and a sequel to Snoopy vs the Red Baron, itself a great novelty tune.

Day 14 - What are you gonna get for Christmas!

2009-12-14T11:48:00.000-08:00

I sang this as a kid for our school play... still remember all the words.

The accents totally make it...

Day 13 - What Monsters do on Christmas

2009-12-13T16:32:00.000-08:00

This is a little heard sequel to the Monster Mash and a hilarious gimmick song...

Day 12 - Hello and welcome to Day 12

2009-12-12T11:24:00.000-08:00

I still remember the first time I heard this version of the song and I laughed so hard... I was only a kid.... now I hear it and... pretty much the same reaction...

Day 11 - A song AND a cartoon

2009-12-11T09:40:00.000-08:00

I have always loved this song but the cartoon that goes with it is also hilarious. I need to watch the whole movie now... even though I just watched it about a week ago...

Day 10 - O Holy...

2009-12-10T09:29:00.000-08:00

A Christmas classic destroyed by a pop culture icon... say what you will about the show but I dare you not to laugh at this...

Day 9 - Santa's gonna...

2009-12-09T15:03:00.000-08:00

The Arrogant Worms are a Canadian treasure largely due to classics like this one...

Day 8 - For young and old alike...

2009-12-08T08:31:00.000-08:00

I love this song... so practical...

Day 7 - Merry Bloody Xmas

2009-12-07T18:19:00.000-08:00

I loved this song even as a kid... despite the rather adult themes of it. Still, any song that talks about the dog throwing up in the chorus is pretty much a guaranteed little boy fave.

Day 6 - The Night Santa went Crazy!

2009-12-06T08:21:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!

Dec 5 - Hey Santa

2009-12-05T14:59:00.001-08:00

This song just kills me... to funny.

Day 4 - I want a Hippopotamus

2009-12-04T10:26:00.000-08:00

Incredibly cute song, and if it doesnt make you smile you need to go to the hospital because you are dead inside!

Dec 3 - Blue Christmas

2009-12-03T15:36:00.000-08:00

Ladies and gentlemen the incomparable... the legendary... the iconic... Porky Pig

Dec 2 - Baby It's Cold Outside

2009-12-03T15:34:00.000-08:00

Ah the classic Christmas duet as performed by Norah Jones and... WILLIE FREAKIN NELSON!?!?!? Instead of the song being a clever flirtation it becomes creepy desperation and leaves you wondering what happened after the song ended...

Dec 1 - My Favorite Things

2009-12-03T15:32:00.000-08:00

Handily ruining any positive memories of the original I give you Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass!

Roll's Crazy Christmas Music Advent Calendar

2009-12-03T15:27:00.000-08:00

Every year at Christmas my mother still buys me an advent calendar and I love it. A little door opens, a little chocolate is eaten, a sweet reminder of the coming event of Christmas, of Christ's birth.

This year I want to have a very merry Christmas indeed and I intend to try and spread merriment where I can too. I recently purchased the latest Starbucks Christmas compilation in what has become an annual impulse buy and have chuckled a bit at some of the very strange selections on there. So here is the plan. Each I plan to post a strange new Christmas tune. It could be funny because the people singing it are odds choices or because the tune itself is strange. If you want to suggest something feel free to message me in Facebook or through the comments on here. It is my hope you can come here each day and feel a little more merry.

The Dude Abides

2009-11-05T10:56:00.001-08:00

I have a confession to make. I haven't seen The Big Lebowski in at least 5 years. This may come as a bit of a shock to some as it occupies a special place in the hearts of my circle of friends in Edmonton, but that is the precise reason why I haven't watched it. It just isn't the same unless you watch it with the guys, in costume (some of us), with a White Russian in your hand. It isn't the same if you don't have the guys laughing with you, if the quotes aren't up on the wall. Watching it by myself has just seemed like a sad and lonesome endeavour so I haven't. For me it is a reminder that I really miss hanging with those guys, I still miss Edmonton. I miss what Lebowski represents to me in memory.

As I was surfing around on Saturday night, looking to see if a movie was coming to town I saw something that made my heart leap. In amongst all the new movies listed on Cinemaclock there was that all too familiar title looking back at me. An art house theatre in Vancouver was screening The Big Lebowski, one night only, and thankfully I was free to go. I talked to a buddy at church about going, and we found another guy who has never seen it and a plan was hatched. The night turned out to be pretty awesome I must say.

I think part of it is that the three of us, at least in some ways, represented the trio of guys that Lebowski revolves around. Geoff is very much the Dude, laid back and mellow. Matt is very much (at least in our dynamic) Donnie, kind hearted and cool. And I am Walter. There I admit it. I would love to be the Dude but the fact is I am too high strung to be the Dude. I get bent out of shape about dumb things, I have been known to rant although not about Vietnam as I never fought in 'Nam. I may dabble in pacificism but it really isn't my thing. Even the drive to the movie felt right, as we talked and laughed at Matt sporting quite possibly the worst Australian accent in the history of the universe. We talked about the movie, wished there would be White Russians there, hoped this would be something awesome.

When we got to the venue, the venerable and awesome Vancity theatre, we were delighted to see that they were indeed selling Caucasians for a whopping 7$. Highway robbery but what can you do? It was then that we realized we couldn't take the drinks into the theatre. It was 7:25 and the movie started at 7:30 so we had drink them at a less leisurely pace than the Dude might have otherwise appreciated. However, it was in that five minutes that we realized this was a pretty special screening. Geoff first noticed Larry Campbell, the former mayor of Vancouver sitting at the table near us. It turns out he hand picked the movie to be screened which made him the coolest mayor ever in my book. And then I notice Jim Byrne sitting at the table next to us. He is a local music legend and a Canadian treasure and starred as a watcher in the Highlander TV series. Crazy. This was turning out to be kind of a big deal. I was going to get to see The Big Lebowski on the big screen for the first time since 1998 with some very cool friends and some other very cool people. We headed into the theatre.

There was an intro for the film. I hadn't realized this was meant to be an artsy fartsy presentation of it, but that is what it turned out to be. There was a very eclectic group of people there, most of the type of cinephile's that drive me crazy. You know, the ones who have all these elevated opinions about the greater meaning of a movie, or who heard a quote about the movie from some other famous director as though that validates the movie's street cred. The movie itself was spectacular as always. The print was showing some signs of age but to me that added to the nostalgia of the experience. Starving myself paid off as I was treated to some surprises that I had totally forgotten about like the dance recital and little lines and nuances. The new thing I noticed this time (at least I don't remember noticing before) is that Bunny is played by Tara Reid of American Pie fame which seemed like an odd casting choice given the caliber of the other talent in the film. It was absolute bliss to laugh at the movie with a crowd of people and as stuffy as they came across it was nice to clap for the movie at the end, something I have always appreciated in the movie going experience and yet a rare occurrence these days.

After there was a Q&A and thought sharing time, where most of my suspicions about the viewers were confirmed. The comments were all about the amount of love in the film, whether the stranger represented God and rather hilariously whether that meant Jesus Quintana was supposed to be Jesus. That was an actual serious comment. I wish I was kidding. The thing that shocked me the most was that it was the norm to say when you had first seen the film and how many times you had seen it and most were saying, "This is my first time" or "I saw part of it on TV once." In deciding to go to the movie I thought that there would surely be some more folks there who had such a fond affection for the Dude. It is considered a cult classic after all. And yet there I was, apparently the only guy who has seen it 20+ times, the only guy who had this sort of religious attachment to it. I own two quote t-shirts, I use the dialog in regular conversation, and I needed to say something. I began as others did, saying I have seen this movie 20ish times (to which there was an audible gasp) and talked about our viewings in Edmonton. I also added that in all of those viewings we never really asked why we loved it as much as we do. For us it is more of a visceral feeling that we just really enjoy it. "This will not stand man" was my actual thought. I guess I got a little defensive about this picking the film apart with the whys and the hows, further proof that I am way more Walter than Dude. I just loved the experience though, it was a blast to go with a couple buddies and see that movie again. To make a night of it and treat it like it was something special brought back so many memories and thoughts of friendships.

Obviously I am not into the whole brevity thing, but I wanted to share this because more than anything it made me realize how much I yet miss my friends in Edmonton, and how much I valued those times together.

The Debate

2009-10-20T11:07:00.000-07:00

So for the last couple of weeks I have been debating the purpose of this blog. I have been unable or unwilling to update lately and yet it nags at the back of my brain that I really should.

For whatever reason babies and blogs seem to be somewhat incompatible. I know a few folks who have quit when their kids came along and I cant says that I blame them thats for sure. It used to be that this blog was an important feature in my week, a creative outlet and a chance to make observations about whatever I felt and I do think I need to return to it. I dont wanto forfeit it because it has meaning for me. I think I would be disappointed in myself if I quit because for me this represents something I have never done... journaling. I like being able to go back through and read older posts, whether they are funny, inane, or some attempt at wisdom. I like having that record around.

I guess I am struggling though with the notion of feeling bound to it rather than doing it because I want to right now. There are a lot of things like that in life. Sometimes family and friends are difficult to stick with and yet we should stick with them, we should acknowledge that we are bound to them. Household chores need to be done, sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I am bound to doing them... how is this blog any different. So I guess I am asking you to stick with me as I go through a period of being bound to my blog and hopefully you'll stick with me as I try to yet again find the joy and pride that can come from keeping a journal.

Time's fun when your having flies

2009-09-22T11:47:00.000-07:00

Wow, three weeks since my last post! I may have had that happen before but seldom has it gone by so quickly. Time has been compressing and decompressing at will lately, fueled by Cordelia whose circadian cycles have yet to match up with the concepts of day and night. I slept for 2 1/2 hours yesterday afternoon and still was able to sleep at bed time. I cant imagine how Candace must feel given how I feel. A lot of my tiredness is fueled by anxiety I think, worrying about this special gift God has given us. It kind of sucks because at times I feel like I am robbing myself of some of the enjoyment of being a Dad. I do love it though, she always makes us smile and sometimes laugh if she fires the rockets (if you know what I mean).

So far she has puked in my mouth once (not a lot, but enough... any amount is enough), she has farted in my face several times but I have been spared compared to Candace. I dont profess to change her nearly as much as Candace does but for some reason I have never had the trials C seems to get into. It has become regular that Cordy will, once freed from her diaper prison, celebrate said freedom with an artistic demonstration involves all natural products... namely pee and poop. She has showered Candace and pooped on herself more times than I can count and it has officially made me gunshy. When I say I dont do it as much, this is not making me want to increase the frequency. Still, when I do change her it is in typical guy fashion, treating her like we are in the pits at Nascar. Some of this comes from the aforementioned difficulties, some of it comes from the male need to time ourselves at menial tasks (I did the dishes in 5min 43seconds! Wife: why is there water dripping out of the cupboards?)So I remove the diaper, wipe 'er clean, and then put on the new diaper (which I have prepared in advance, opening the tabs and getting it ready). It is possible my speed has something to do with it, regardless I am glad I have been spared.

It is not my intention to blog about the kid all the time, just where I am at right now. I am not thinking about much else. But there are a few things on the horizon, one thing that I hope will be fairly big and I will fill you in more on it when I get a little further into it.

Big Baby

2009-09-01T08:50:00.001-07:00

I have a baby girl. Her name is Cordelia and I love her very very much. Her birth was an amazing experience for me, a learning experience and such an amazing blessing. Her mother did just amazingly, even despite the fact that there were some umibilical issues (every time a contraction would come, the cord would get squished, thus requiring us to move things along on a faster schedule.) I love them both in ways I never thought possible. I am realizing that as much, if not more, as I wanted to be a dad that I am excited to be a family. The three of us (for now) feels so awesome it is hard to describe.

I wasnt squeamish, something I was personally surprised by. I am not bragging as I genuinely expected to be crazy sick if I saw things I didnt want to. The nurse told me, "This is the part where a lot of husbands kind of lose it so if something is wrong you need to tell us." I thought about it for a moment. Mental faculties? Check. Stomach? Good to go. Squeamishness? Nada. "Nope I am good!" and away we went. I dont claim that I really did anything, Candace did all the work. The best I could do was encourage her and hold her hand (when she wanted it) but I am proud of how we did together. She didnt panic, she didnt get mad at me, she told me what she needed and I made sure to ask what she wanted or needed. We talked about it after and it was cool to realize we had indeed come through this OK.

When Cordelia was born I cried. She did too, although I suspect it wasnt because she was overcome by the wonder and absolute surrealism of the situation. I cut the cord, which wasnt as weird as I thought it'd be, like cutting a piece of raw squid or something like that. She cried for a bit but once she was warm she was good.

Here is what I know about my daughter so far:
1) She hates being naked, which as her father I am glad to see. I think it has more to do with being cold though.

2) She enjoys going to the bathroom when she is not wearing any diapers, like when she is being changed. I havent experienced it yet but Candace has... twice.

3) She is very chatty for a newborn... cooing, gurgling, and making lots of cute noises which only endears her to me more as she is officially the only one who sits and listens to my babbling. Maybe we are speaking the same gibberish?

4) She loves to cuddle, which is awesome because I also love to cuddle. We had our first nap together yesterday and it couldnt have been better if we were Ross and Joey.

5) She is a pretty calm little girl. Thus far she has only cried for understandable reasons like, "Hey I am naked and cold!" and "I am feeling peckish!" and even then Candace has been feeding her regularly so that one has only happened once or twice. She is pretty peaceful so far which I think is neat, and not on a "we get to sleep" level but more of a "oh good, maybe she isnt neurotic and anxious like her father" kind of way.

6) She is one hungry little girl. We noticed today her little finger have plumped up a bit but we have already been supplementing with formula a bit because Candace cant keep up with her.

7) She stole my hair! In the last few years I have lost a LOT of hair and apprently it was being saved for a coiff that would make Little Richard blush in shame. I love it though, it really adds to the cuteness factor and it makes me feel very proud when people comment on it.

I am so proud of both my girls. I love my wife in ways I never thought possible and she is still my first love, the one I promised to honour and cherish, to have and to hold and I love that she took one for the team and brought our daughter into the world. I love my little Cordelia Joy too and I am proud of her because I am her dad and that is my job. I love that I get teary just looking at her (who's the baby now huh?) And I cant wait to see what life holds for her... for us.

And to any future suitors, I want you to look at that picture and the look of love in my eyes and realize that if you want a relationship with my daughter, you better have a strong constitution and a good sense of humour because I am gonna make it awful hard on anyone who thinks they have what it takes to take care my little girl... I'm just sayin'

Industrial Strength Impatience.

2009-08-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

OK, so the baby hasnt come yet and our due date went by yesterday. I have been trying to be as patient as possible and I think doing an OK job but man does waiting for a kid mess with your intuition. I generally have a good read on the world around me and know what to expect but we are officially in uncharted territory. I had a strong feeling that baby would be early and showing that it is indeed a Craig the baby has already done its best to make dad look dumb and prove him wrong. I think the unexpected part is the crazy amount of energy I have right now which I think comes from a combination of things:

1) I have started wearing nose strips again so that Candace can sleep better. I think I sleep better at night but wake up a little woozier than normal which is why I am not a fan.

2) I am now officially off on vacation so I am sleeping more. I have a few more responsibilities with the youth program but other than that I am free and clear which is very nice.

3) I am waiting and when I wait I have to occupy myself with whatever is at hand. I have to expend the energy or go nuts. Video games dont cut it, movies can for a short time (like 1 movie), other than that I have to be doing something.

This has led to me being more industrious around the house than I have been in a very long time. I went to IKEA (again!!!) and got some bookshelves and a couple of small dressers for our new downstairs bedroom and have put them all together in the last couple of days, I have been ferrying trade paperback comics down from my upstairs hobby room to the new shelves where they are now arms length from the bed. Very nice. I still have to go back to IKEA (again!!!) because one of the shelves was busted and I have to go and exchange it for a new one which I will then build today so I can get all the books off the floor and hang the curtains (see what I mean). My body is pretty tired. I can feel it today especially, CMT is no friend to exertion but I must say I am happy working away and it keeps my mind off of the waiting.

I am making sure to focus on Candace though. I cant imagine what waiting must be like for her. I have been making sure she has her cravings met, and we have been spending lots of time together (she helps with the building when there isnt heavy lifting pounding in nails and driving screws which is a lot of fun!). A neat thing that has developed is that we have been going to bed early to do crosswords on the Nintendo DS and listen to music. It has been a great way to wait really. I am glad I am off now I think. Waiting at work just wasnt cutting it any more and I ended up feeling guilty about not being home AND not focused at work. I feel good, I feel healthy, I feel like I can wait as long as I need to if it means spending this kind of quality time with my wife who has been so patient, so good natured during this whole thing.

Greatest American Heroes…

2009-08-13T11:22:00.001-07:00

"It's dumb" – One of my youth

Yes it's dumb, of course it's dumb. If you have ever seen the old cartoon you know that the stories of GI Joe are more about the cool characters and vehicles than any kind of cohesive plot. Running around the world to find bits of dead emperors or looking for rare elements to fuel a world destroying device are not stories of mythical proportions. However, they are a blast to watch (even still) because of the nostalgia and the fun factor, something I think GI Joe nailed from the get go. I think the franchise appeals to me because it feeds some of the things I really enjoy without even bothering to answer some of the more obvious questions might ask such as:

Where does Cobra get all the money for their equipment?

How does one manage to build an undersea base like this without anyone noticing… or one in the desert… or in space… or whatever?

Despite the fact that Joe HQ is always in the same place why is that Cobra never does a full on assault and wipe them out? Instead they only break in when they need to free someone or steal information?

Why would anyone follow Cobra Commander given his penchant for crackpot ideas and then why is it easier to make Serpentor instead of just having Destro or some other genius do it?

When they are busy destroying the world in very obvious ways why does Cobra need stealth bombers?

These are just a few of the questions someone who wants may realism may ask. It is what a moviegoer with little familiarity with the subject matter may ask as well. As far as I am concerned GI Joe is the BEST interpretation of the source material to the big screen as I have seen in a long time. It doesn't take itself seriously but hits almost every note spot on and as a result it is a heck of a lot of fun. It is better than Transformers in that it knows what it is, a movie based on a cartoon, comic, and most importantly a toy line. It has the big battles folks would want, the cool character fights a la Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, it even has some good character development (which surprised the heck out of me) and felt like a great start to the franchise. I know it isn't going to hit everyone the right way but seriously if you love big action and some good laughs with a decent if paper thin plot you will enjoy GI Joe. Here are some of the things that I was glad to see in the film:

GI Joe as a military group is big. They are multi-national (which makes sense in today's world but also as to how the rest of the world saw GI Joe in the 80's. While they were American to the US and to us they were marketed as a world force to the rest of the world) and there are lots of Joes. I was terrified this was gonna be some podunk unit with like 6 members and its not. There is lots of room for cameos of characters we know and love and I dug that… although I wish they would have done that more in this movie...
Cobra is also big, although not called Cobra yet. What's cool they is that they are called MARS which is a reference to the source and not some new creation for the movie. It really seems like the makers of the movie wasn't all that interested in introducing too many new elements.
Snake-Eyes was perfect except for one thing… and I may be breaking my own rule here… why does the guy need a mouth on his costume when he doesn't even talk? It looks dumb. I am sure they thought the face "needed something more" but I disagree. Maybe some venting or something but… a fake mouth!?!? Still the character was awesome.
The overall plot was absolutely note perfect GI Joe bliss. Nano-bot missiles that destroy entire cities and have a kill switch to shut em off? Wicked idea that fits in nicely with the other world domination plot ideas from the other incarnations of the series.
The battles are spectacular and well filmed, especially the underwater battle.
Destro (Christopher Eccleston) was awesome and I loved his transformation and the idea behind it (despite the effect looking pretty dumb)

If you have been looking for a fun film this summer I don't think this one will let you down. It succeeds where other films of its kind fail, it knows that the material cannot be taken too seriously except in the way that is respects the source material. Transformers wanted so badly to be taken seriously. With a wink and a nod I believe this film makes you feel like you would be an idiot and lose a lot of the fun factor if you took it seriously and when it comes to this flick knowing that is half the battle! Yo Joe.

Funniest thing ever...

2009-08-11T08:42:00.000-07:00

Saw GI Joe twice this weekend and loved every second of it. I also loved every second of this and I am blown away by the talend they got for this short. Hilarious!

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Olivia Wilde

Buster Poindexter can suck it....

2009-07-29T10:22:00.000-07:00

This heat is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I am grouchy, disinclined to do any work, and feeling the general malaise that comes with the heat. That's right its the heat as I never have... these... issues when its... cooler... ITS THE HEAT DOGGONE IT!

Sleeping has been rough, I cant even imagine what it must be like for Candace who is carting around our child with her 24/7. Phew! Further proof my wife is amazing. I understand this heat is supposed to last until Tuesday as well which at this point seems a fair distance away. I am wondering if the hospital is air conditioned at this point because if not... whoa nelly!

I realize this is very stream of conciousness right now... but that's just where I am at I guess. My heart and mind are focused on my wife and my child and very little else matters, which makes work difficult to say the least. I have a waterfight with the Senior Youth this afternoon though so that'll be fun, and leadership training with the young adults which should be cool as well. I just want our baby to be here though... I want to meet the little one and hang out y'know. It'll be here soon enough I know but that is just where I am at.

One last thing. I found something funny the other day I want to share with you. A website called things my boyfriend says. Some of the stuff is pretty umm.... inappropriate but some is also undeniably funny. Like when the girlfriend asks, "Do you know who loves you?" (or something to that effect) and he responds, "Megatron". Good stuff.

One month

2009-07-14T11:25:00.001-07:00

I had a thought this morning to which I had a strange reaction. On July 18^th it will be one month until our baby is due. One month. I have learned by now that due dates are a bit of a best guess thing, that they can arrive late, or early, or anything in between. You can try and make be logical about it (Candace was two weeks early, I two weeks late = baby on time?) but that just isn't how it works. The truth is the baby will get here when it gets here. I know that in my head but my heart is doing some funny things. It's like I cant wrap my head around it or something.

I know it isn't bad feelings, I have wanted to be a father for a long time. Now that it is really happening I am through the roof excited which makes it very hard to wait. I am told this too is normal. I have been able to feel the baby moving a lot. Candace placed my hand on her belly the other day and I was blown away, I could distinctly feel a heel and ball of a little foot. Our baby is a dancing machine it would seem. I speculate it will be a long baby as it seems to need to stretch its legs a lot, this speaks hopefully towards getting the Craig gene in the height department which is awesome. It is so amazing and at the same time so weird to be attached and detached simultaneously. I can feel our baby moving, I know its there and yet I have no idea what to call it, whether it is a by or a girl. These are things we could have found out but both of believe it is right to wait. I think I just understand why one might not a little better.

The other side of it is the growing apprehension as to what is about to happen to our lives. Amidst all the excitement and thrill of being new parents is a bit of a sense that a meteor is heading towards Earth and we only have a short time before life as we know it is wiped out. I say that tongue in cheek but it isn't too far off from how I feel I think. I find it endlessly pissy and annoying that people feel the need to tell us how much sleep we will lose or how we will never have clean clothes again as apparently babies are in need of an exorcist out of the womb lest they spew shit and vomit all over us 24/7. I GET IT. I know being a parent is different than anything I have done before but seriously come up with something a little more original than, "Sleep now… you'll need it!" Really?!? Why !?! Oh I see, that is you clever way of telling me babies don't sleep much… really?!? Wow I am sure glad you told me in such a humorous and original way that doesn't sound at all like you resent your own children. It is my personal goal to never… EVER say that to someone. In fact, the people who said that crap to me before are going to be told we are a fresh as a daisy, even if the truth is our baby has not only been awake but breathing fire and talking about the breaking of the seventh seal. "Really? You guys lost sleep, ours doesn't do that, you must have gotten a dud. Our child sleep through the night and shits marshmallows." End of spontaneous rant.

My point in the above paragraph was going to be this. It is like looking forward to something that feels slightly scary which is a strange feeling indeed. Candace and I are intelligent people, and yet I have a feeling neither of us will feel more dumb than when we are trying to learn how to be parents. It's a rite of passage I suppose, something families go through. Both sets of our parents did a great job of raising Candace and I, its just a little different when its your kid. I am so excited about meeting this little gift of God, about holding them (wish I could know him or her now…) on my chest, holding them as they fall asleep, singing lullabyes to them, reading books over and over again, playing whatever crazy role their imagination comes up with. I am going to be a Father, and I couldn't be more scared. I am going to be a Father, and I couldn't be more elated.

Sadly this doesnt seem farfetched...

2009-07-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

Man, the Onion is pure genius sometimes...

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

Long live the King...of Pop

2009-06-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

Its kind of a weird thing really. He hasnt had an album in ages, and you dont really hear much about him these days... hopefully he feels like he escaped the hounding of the press in the end. Still it is a strange day knowing there will now, for certain, never really be a new Michael Jackson album. He was set for somewhat of a comeback this summer, but whether another album exists or not...

So strange how his death mimics Elvis', as so many events of his life did. Elvis too was hounded by the media, stories circulated of weird happenings and behaviours. I think Michael suffered harsher criticism simply because society is more comfortable with that now. I felt bad for him when he underwent all the scrutiny, all the violent syllables pointed in his direction. The media made a monster of him, and I dont think he deserved that, I was of that opinion from the beginning. I have always loved his music, even the later stuff that a lot of people dont. I appreciated the effort he put into his work, in interviews you could tell he just really knew how to make music and that is all I cared about.

Well that is what I cared about the most. No one is a saint, I know that as much as anyone, and I dont expect that of anyone. I dont need Michael Jackson to be perfect to enjoy his tunes. I dont need him to live up to my expectations of a persons life to recognize that, like Mozart before him, he was exceptionally gifted from a very young age. Sadly, like Wolfgang, he only burned brightly for a short time before falling rather hard into eternity.

I heard on the radio this morning that MJ sold 40 million albums in one year, 1983. That is absolutely staggering. Especially when you consider this was not a man who sang other people's songs. He wrote for himself, was in on the production and provided the vision for most of his videos. I know he wasnt a one man band, but he was more involved in his music that any of the pop stars today. 40 million albums. Think about that.

I will continue to listen to his music, no doubt my kids will think of it as "dad's oldies music", but I will relate to them what a powerhouse the king of pop was. I will ask them to listen with, to watch the "old videos". At the same time I will wonder who will replace him, who will be the next manic genius our eyes fall on? Who will be the next subject of our prying admiration? I cant say it is a title I would wish on anyone.

The King is dead. Long live the King.

I lurv the interweb

2009-06-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I have a sneaking suspicion the internet is sentient. It provides all manner of entertainment for unsuspecting geeks to giggle at. Youtube is not a bunch of people posting videos at all, it is the internet making up profiles for itself and just doing crazy crap all the time. It must be. Who in the world has the time to make all this stuff. Certainly I think of funny videos to make, I think of them all the time, but I dont have the actual time to make them! Who are these people? Therefore it must be the product of the now sentient internet. Has to be.

Seriously, God bless the people who put this stuff together as it makes me laugh at its sheer brilliance and overall geekitude. So what made me go on this rant? What made me think these things. My mutual love for 80s TV and Sci-Fi mashed together in a nerdgasm the likes of which I have never seen.

First up we have a show about a man investigating crimes in space, living with an old man named Obi Wan. He has yet to rock a killer moustache though...

Han Solo PI

Next we have the story of four guys on the run from the law for a crime they didnt commit... in space. Join them as they right wrongs while going where no one has gone before...

Star Trek: A-Team

If that isnt enough action for you, how about a story about the most high tech starships out there? These guys will blow... you... away...

Star Airwolf

How about the story of a man who can make nearly anything out of some power converters he picked up at Toshi station...

Lukegyver

If drama is more your thing we got that too. Who could forget the sweeping epic of the final frontier, or the dramatic cliffhanger that asked the question, "Who shot Picard?"

Star Dallas

This is exciting and new...

Star Boat

And now for something completely different...

Room to grow

2009-06-16T11:26:00.000-07:00

It has been haunting me for a while now... I know it needs to be done, but I'll be darned if I dont have the time or the energy to do it and yet our baby needs a space of its own. We have had the room picked out for a while. The problem is it was the junk room and is full of aformentioned junk that requires one to wade through and throw a lot of it out. I am almost done now, clearing it out I mean. Still ahead lies the painting and arranging of furniture that goes along with it. I wish I was on a reno show that has a crew that does all this stuff. Dont get me wrong, I am excited for the baby to come, just not so much the moving around. We are moving down to the basement, which has already been awesome. It is darker, quieter, and we have a ceiling fan and fireplace in our room now. I am kicking myself that we didnt do this sooner. For better or for worse though, we are not the tidiest people in the world which has led to a lot of cleaning and sorting which is very time consuming and causing me to think I need to be a tidier person. Again, not a bad thing, just kind of a pain. Weird to think we will be a family soon. I have found myself daydreaming about holding the baby on my chest and having naps together. I must be tired if I am daydreaming about sleeping!

This is why change is a bad thing

2009-06-02T10:56:00.000-07:00

For the first time in a long time I went to a different theater with Candace to see a movie. Why? Well, I bought a Bug's Life on Blu-Ray and it came with movie money to see Up! and it only worked at certain theaters. The closest was in Surrey and I was kind of excited because even though I have never been there I know they have a pretzel place in the theater and I have a secret love affair with pretzels. This dream was soon to be shattered as well.

Usually we go to the Colossus in Langley, its just easier and a nice theater. The service there is sometimes iffy but never in the bad category. I will be going there from now on...

We arrive at the theater 15 minutes before the show. As we approach the till I can see that what was advertised as being not in 3D (Candace has issues with 3D) is indeed in 3D. Candace agrees to go anyway so I hand over my coupon and the trouble begins. The girl stairs at it blankly as though I have perhaps handed her a wild Gibbon, and then looks at my and speaks into a little microphone in her shoulder (well, on her shoulder. I was tempted to embed it in her shoulder when all was said and done) as she doesnt know what to do with the Gibb... er... coupon. Finally she get some help, but before she helps us she starts helps other people who have just sauntered up to the counter without waiting in line or being courteous enough to wait their turn (it was some kind of promo thing). She does this 3 times. To make matters worse a girl comes and opens the till next to her and proceeds to let 4 families through while we are still waiting for her to figure this out. I should have brought a Gibbon, at least it could have figured out the coupon. After 8 minutes (literally) we get our ticket and I am now thoroughly annoyed. But the pretzels were waiting so things were looking up...

"It'll take five minutes"... "Why dont you have any made"... (proudly)"We make them to order"... (in head)"You are attempting to save money, when all you are doing is making customers frustrated." *sigh*.... (out loud) "I will have a Parmesan pretzel please"

At least it will be hot and fresh. It will be good I am sure. Turns out it was hot and fresh. So fresh it wasnt cooked in the middle and I am pretty sure that rather than an awesome chewy pretzel I was eating Pizza dough in the shape of a pretzel (the place sold pizza too). By this point I was getting pretty ticked.

Candace stood at the New York Fries booth. A guy saw her and rather than helping his customer scurried away as though maybe she hadnt seen him. He returned finally and when she ordered an apple juice, which was in the fridge right beside him, he wandered off to another area to get a juice from there. Apparently they work so hard there they have to pee in apple juice bottles and store them in the fridge... grrr.

Finally... after all this we get into the theater and I know all will be right with the world because we are seeing a Pixar film and Pixar is awesome. Plus there is a new short before the film and I loooove the Pixar shorts, both of us do. I am excited. What's past is past. Everything will be OK. Plus it ended up being in 3D, which is cool. There was a preview for G-Force, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, and couple of others, and then we are treated to that trademark Pixar animation.... ooh it looks like the short starts with an old Movietone newsreel... wait that looks like the main character from Up. Oh you have got to be kidding me... they didnt. I know about the new short. Ryan got to see the new short the other day and said it was great... they couldnt have... the credits roll for Up and I am seething. The movie was incredible despite all the lead up. I did however realize how much the theater experience itself enhances the viewing of a movie. I will never again go to that theater, movie coupon or not. Unless they hire some Gibbons to up the service, then I may consider it.

Some Heavy Idol Talk

2009-05-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

OK, so, I have watched American Idol for the last couple of seasons and as of this one I feel officially out of touch with the mainstream. Last night, in case you havent heard, the rocker got beat out by the crooner. The analogy I have used is this:

Kris Allen is like Bryan Adams, a good vocalist who performs well and is enjoyable to listen to, he just isnt overly creative with the songs. He sings well.

Adam Lambert is like Freddie Mercury, an unbelievable vocalist with unbelievable range who is extremely creative with the material given.

Last night Bryan Adams beat Freddie Mercury and I am just blown away. In the finale episode, after all is said and done and all that's left is the waiting for the big reveal there were several performances in which the finalist got to sing with various big name musicians. Someone sang with Lionel Richie, another with Queen Latifah. Kris, who has been the underdog for a while now, sang with Keith Urban.

It was a good, if not great, respectable performance but ultimately kind of meh. Adam comes out for his turn and gently starts singing "Beth" and as Candace and I are trying to figure out who sings the song he says, "Ladies and Gentlemen... KISS!" and proceeded to blow the doors off the place.

It was a phenomenal performance. Oh, and then he lost to the Kieth Urban guy.

I admit there is a big difference in style and think in the end that is what mattered. Not the guys themselves but HOW they performed. Adam is a showman and in many ways a front man who needs a band behind him to rock it out. Kris is very much the solo artist. I suppose I am a little torn because I think Adam will be more successful through coming second. He will not be tied to the obligatory self titled solo project and can be freed up to pull a Daughtry (whose album has gone quadruple platinum), something I think would have been better for David Cook last year as well.

I guess I just am bummed that Adam's talent wasnt recognized as the best talent. Clearly he vocally dominated the competition the entire time, there is just no question. Kris's dumbfounded reaction to his win last night was proof that he never never expected to win. He couldnt produce words... he had nothing to say because he knew superior talent when he saw it and I think that is what bugs me a bit. Like most reality shows it is not about the best, there is more to it then that. But then I guess that is what reality is like in the end. Being the best does not automatically make you the success in reality.

Random bits

2009-05-14T17:42:00.000-07:00

I have been very delinquent with myself on the blogorama lately. Sorry. Honestly for whatever reason there hasnt been much to say. Life is going well. Things are good! Nothing to rant about I guess. Still there are a few things I would like to comment on.

Lost: Noooooooo.... crap now I have to wait another 7 months to find out what happens. That is a long time given the freakin cliffhanger we were left with. This season was a total blast. I loooooved it. What a good ride but dang!

Christian-gaming.com: Awesome website to get connected with other Christian gamers on whatever system. They are friendly and welcoming, it is just very cool being a part of that now.

Star Trek: Wow... just wow. If you havent seen it you need to. It is just an awesome movie let alone one for fans. I think pretty much anyone would like it, but fans would go bananas for it I think. I loved every minute of it and I think if I was a kid I would have been in absolute awe of this one.

Wolverine: Works well with the other X-Men movies. I dont know that I see this as a good thing. Those movies havent aged well in my opinion and they are only a few years old! Comic book movies have just gotten much more sophisticated with their storytelling that plot devices that turn people into mutants etc just do not work well. Wolverine felt like a throwback and while it was fun it was just this weird paradox... a comic book movie that was of no use to a comic fan...

Retro: I have been feeding myself a lot of nostalgia lately but I love that pop culture right now is giving me lots to feed on. How bizarre and awesome is it to have GI Joe and Transformers coming to theaters in the same year?!?! Plus I just discovered GI Joe Resolute on Youtube and it is hands down the best GI Joe story ever. To top it off I have been watching a lot of my old animation collection and enjoying shows that pay honor to those shows like Robot Chicken, Harvey Birdman (hilarious if you havent seen it) and just all kinds of stuff. Now if they could just make a wicked He-Man movie like I keep hearing about I will be in geek heaven.

Benjamin Button: *snore* huh... whu... I must have fallen asleep, what happened?... Nothing.... Oh.... *snooze*

Baby: I have been feeling the kicking lately, pretty cool. It still feels kind of otherworldly, like this isnt happening to us. I know it is and I am so excited for it. Its just weird cause we bought a stroller and a carseat, but I guess just feels like life hasnt changed yet. It will though and I am sayin bring it on!

Ultrasound

2009-04-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday was a big day for me. I have been a bit of a worrywart about the pregnancy because of what happened before as well as being a worrier by nature. I have been pestering Candace with, "Did you feel the baby move today?" "Are you feeling OK?" "How are things? Can I get you anything?" etc etc. I feel kind of silly doing it but I feel kind of disconnected, almost jealous that she gets to feel the moving around and stuff.

The Ultrasound went smooth. Ten fingers, Ten toes... at one point (and I wish we had gotten it as one of our pictures) you could clearly see the face. Sleeping eyes, button nose, and cute little lips. It was like our baby was right there, and everything was OK. I didn't get all teary or anything, more overwhelmed with a feeling of how amazing this all was. I have wanted to be a dad for so long, and for a while I may not have been ready, but now I feel like I am. I know it isnt all roses and cutesy pie stuff... in fact it is beginning to piss me off royally when people go (usually exasperated with their own kids), "Oh just you wait!" when I smile or laugh if their kid is acting excited our out of hand. I am not laughing at them, I am happy for them. I am sure it must get exasperating, but I am not there yet and wont be for a while yet. I am smiling and laughing because I am looking forward to being a family, I admire those events and think about how cool it must be to have a family, ups downs and sideways included.

I think I saw the gender too. I cant be sure because I have sat through exactly one ultrasound but there are a couple reasons I am pretty sure I saw what I think I saw. 1) Our ultrasound was a little later (24 weeks) than most, the baby was therefore bigger and more developed that at 20 weeks.
2) I clearly saw feet, with toes and everything, the legs, the knees, the thighs and well, everything else was clear so I am pretty sure I saw what I think I saw. Everything else was crystal clear, so why not that bit right? I am not saying I absolutely definitely know, just I think I might have seen what I was hoping not to. If I am right, OK I was right but I dont care because the baby is all that matters. Boy... girl... doesnt matter. August is going to be exciting!

Bug Holocaust

2009-04-16T10:56:00.000-07:00

Spring is here! Do you know how I can tell this where I live? Is it the flowers? Nope. Is it that the weather is perking up? Nope. Is it that I have noticed the youth suddenly paying more attention to each other? Nope.

I know it is spring because of the bugs who commit mass suicide around our house and the church. I have heard that Elephants have a place they go to die. By instinct they travel to a certain place where all the other elephants from their herd(flock? murder? clutch?) have gone before to pass on. Here at Zion it is bugs. The following bugs have local graveyards.

Pillbugs
Location: The stairwell heading up to the houses and the back field.
Number: 150 to 200
Appearance: Freakishly fast, over the course of a weekend all 150 bodies appeared all rolled up neatly in little deceased balls.

Ladybugs
Location: My hobby room in the upper level of our house.
Number: 30 to 40
Appearance: Hard to say as I am not up there every day. My guess as to the cause is that one of my hobbies is not collecting aphids which would eliminate their food source and therefore they starve.

Yellowjackets
Location: My wife's office in the upper level of our house (I know, weird right? The rooms are right across from each other and I have never found a yellowjacket in my room, or a Ladybug in hers!)
Number: 15-20
Appearance: Again, hard to say, but over the course of a week or so they show up. They havent yet this year but I expect they will. We never see live ones is the really weird part.

So there it is. Three insect graveyards in a small space!

Really!?! with Jack Burton

2009-03-24T08:58:00.000-07:00

There was a report on the news today about Obama's love affair with his teleprompter, as though he is too dependant on it, so I thought I would offer this rant.

Really!?! The teleprompter? So even though every president since the thing was invented has always read their speeches from a teleprompter, even though most people in that position would be hard pressed to simply say all they need to say off the top of their head, even though the critics are reading their well planned attacks off of a friggin teleprompter we are going to go after Obama for doing it...

Really!?! A blog about Obama's teleprompter and it's life where the person behind it is too chicken to come forward is going to be a credible source to cite to really give this story steam!

Really!?! So the guy is the most well spoken president in a loooong time, shows a real intelligence in his words and actions, and devotes much time and effort to being a good communicator. He has made an effort to make the best of a bad situation and has shown himself to be a competant president and family man and the best the media can come up with is he enjoys using a teleprompter? Really!?!

Really!?! How stupid does the media think we are? What? He uses a teleprompter? How dare he! What was he thinking presenting a speech that was actually prepared in advance!

Sorry, I am not an idiot and I dont think anyone should by the crap that is being sold here. Really.

This has been Really!?! with Jack Burton

Watchmen

2009-03-10T11:00:00.000-07:00

I am up to my eyeballs in work so I will keep this brief.

I love the original material and the movie was very faithful to that, with one exception. I was far more brutal than I remember the comic being. The comic was violent to be sure, I just dont remember visualizing it quite so gory and man is this movie gory. The sex scene is also far more over done than the comic and leaves little to the imagination which is arguably the biggest problem with turning a comic book into a movie, especially one of this nature. It's fairly safe to say though that as a result my wife and many others that come to mind will likely never see the movie for these reasons even though the rest of the content is engrossing and interesting. The movie severely limits its own audience in my opinion. I mean, do you go to superhero movies expecting to have, in graphic detail, a very detailed view of a man having his arms sawed off while he is still alive? I didnt think so.

The other big difference was the ending which is completely different from the comic. I read a review which nailed it and it essentially said everybody ends up in the same place in the end but it isnt nearly as good a way to get there. It was like taking the freeway versus taking the scenic route and that bugged me a bit. Still, it was a faithful interpretation of the book and a lot of it was very very cool to see on the big screen. It is a superhero movie that makes you ponder what makes a hero a hero, it has an incredible sense of design and style that really make it feel like 1985 (the year in which the film is set) and ultimately it is an engrossing film.

I would recommend it to those who have the stomach for the violence, which is a shame really because I think it could have been just that much more.

Heroes Theory

2009-03-03T22:50:00.000-08:00

OK so I am watching Heroes and a thought struck me I wanted to share. If you have been watching there is a character named Rebel who is seen only through messages. The thought that struck me is that the character has only been seen through electronic messages so far.... and who havent we seen in a while that would have the ability to communicate like that and who would have access to any computer and be able to stay one step ahead of the bad guys....

Do you think Micah is coming back?

Babies Go

2009-03-02T08:25:00.000-08:00

Sorry... I guess I took a blog break...

I have wanted to share this for a while now, since way back before we were ready to talk about baby. In my excitement or rather in trying to keep my excitement contained I found myself surfing the web for cool baby stuff. Well, baby stuff I thought was cool... I was specifically looking for a Little Lebowski Urban Achiever onesy, couldnt find it... although I did find a Def Leppard one and a Chuck Norris one. Anyway, as I surfed I cam across something so cool I couldnt believe it actually existed.

Its a series of CDs called Babies Go... and they are amazing. Basically you take some of the world's greatest performers... Queen, Abba, Aerosmith, U2, Elton John and put them into lullaby/kiddie music form. My initial reaction was, "Oh man, this could be really good or really really bad." Turns out it was completely awesome sauce.

If you go to the website you can hear samples of the music for every track. I would recommend Guns N Roses - Sweet Child of Mine and U2's entire album. I havent heard one that I thought was a terrible rendition. They are all instrumental and use gentler sounding tones. Basically this is baby music I could totally get behind and listen to with our kid and that makes me excited.

300th Post. Baby!

2009-02-13T11:00:00.001-08:00

So I told you that this was coming, that there would be a surge towards the 300^th post. And there was. I have written a crapload this week and as a result some of it is kind of crap. But here we are. The thing is I wanted to get to three hundred because I have something important to talk about. It's something I am very excited about and felt it was just perfect for a big anniversary post like this one.

So what is it? Huh Huh?

Well, I will let the Gooch tell you… only unlike Turk I am not lying.

Yep, I am going to be a daddy! We have waited a while to tell people, because we went through a tough time in May and telling too many folks made it hard to get through. My wife is due in August so we are about 3 and a half months along now. It stills feels a bit scary to share it just because you feel somehow like you might jinx it… but I am happy, we are happy, and I wanted to share that here. This blog has become a place for that sort of thing for me. A place to write down my joys and my letdowns, a place to share jokes and the things I like. As I now look into fatherhood, still somewhat detached I look forward to sharing the process with you a bit, although I might not go into to much detail.

I am still very detached from the whole thing, not sure how to feel or what I should be doing to prepare. I have been looking at young families and realizing some of the expenses that will be looming soon enough but I also cant help but notice the kids themselves, hanging out with their families and having fun being chauffeured around. I know it aint all wine and roses, but I do look forward to those moments. There are a lot of moments I look forward to.

I have a lot of friends with kids. A lot. In fact some of those kids are approaching their teens now so I have been around that for a long time. I am not old, only 34, so I don't feel like I waited, we waited too long or anything like that. I think its just that you start to find it hard to relate after a while. Its always about the kids, and by no means do I mean that in a negative way. I mean that you hear about all the amazing things these kids are doing and then when it is your turn to talk about what's up its like, "Umm… I went to the bank… that was fun… oh, and I saw this movie…" It just kind of feels like you need to have a more adventurous life to have something to say that's comparable. I am looking forward to being a parent is my point, because from the outside it looks like an amazing and rewarding experience.

I am also looking forward to being a parent with my wife. Candace is an amazing person, a wonderful and truly gifted person that I get to spend every day with. Since we've been married we joke around about team Craig, but I know that for both of us it goes way beyond joking and into something very real. My life truly would completely and totally suck without her and I know that. So this whole baby thing is really exciting mostly because I get to do that with her. We'll get to share in some pretty awesome experiences through this, although right now I feel kind of useless. I will never ever joke again I think about woman "getting to" carry the child. If there is one odd negative experience in those whole thing, it is feeling kind of left out and not sure what I am supposed to do. I mean, I want to help but what the heck can I do besides running out to the store for ice cream and stuff like that. A wise man told me this week I need to shut up and stop worrying about how I am changing and just listen to my wife. That is my job. I have taken that to heart and I feel better now about it. I was being kind of a nob about that whole thing, but… I got better! I have a bad habit of wanting to figure it all out right now, and I have a feeling I need to grow past that, and in fact as I think about it I want to grow past that.

So there it is, 300 posts and 1 big announcement… well for us anyway.

In the Beginning...

2009-02-13T10:30:00.000-08:00

This song is pure awesome! I have loved Genesis for a loooong time. Phil Collins to me, is one of the iconic voices of the 80's. I know that Peter Gabriel was the original lead singer of the band before drummer Collins took over but the Genesis I love is sans Gabriel anyway. They have a huge number of big hits, and on top of that Collins and guitarist Mike Rutherford had pretty successful side solo careers to boot. This song has the most amazing riff, and it sounds just awesome cranked on a surround system.

Invisible Touch by Genesis

He's Baaaaaack!

2009-02-13T10:11:00.000-08:00

So the new remake of Friday the 13th comes out today, and I will probably be giving it a miss. Why? Well as much as I love old school 80's horror icons, this will not be one of those movies. No, it will be robbed of all the fun of those older films and done in up in a slick and marketable package with realistic gore and probably zero sense of humor. In other words, everything that made the old ones awesome in their own way will be gone.

Back then slashers were a huuuugely marketable entity. Create a guy with a suitably supernatural origin (something that will no doubt be retconned in the new one) and blammo! you have a killing machine who enjoys his job. You know this because he uses his imagination in his job. Never does he rely on the same tired routine, he will change it up with a chainsaw, or a pitchfork, or in the case of Jason he'll just pick up a sleeping bag with two ne'er do wells in it and bash them against a tree.

The effects in these movies were budget. Effects guys who got into their jobs by figuring out how to make fake blood with common drug store ingredients. They didnt buy it from a supplier, they made it. They hand made those horrible molds of the main characters that they would switch out with a quick cut just before Jason strikes. One minute a beautiful girl, blink, and she has a poorly manufactured paper mache head crafted by the director's kid (or so it would appear). Part of what made those movies fun to watch was how ridiculous the effects were. You would squeal at the death, or yell out "OOOH! MAN!" and then burst out laughing because the amount of blood would make Dracula blush.

The acting was always terrible and really, most of these kinds of movies were morality tales. Back in the day, the Brothers Grimm wrote Hansel & Gretel to teach kids not to wander to far from home. Friday the 13th especially was great for showing us the consequences of underage sex, drinking, and skinny-dipping. The person who lived through those movies was always the one who didnt get themselves into trouble. Sure, Jason would chase them, but he could never kill them. Jason was 100% old fashioned badass Old Testament LAW!

And dont even get me started on the acting. It was like George Lucas made these movies! But that was all part of the fun! And that right there is what I feel like is missing from all these newer remakes. Whether intended or not there was a huge fun factor to those old movies. They were there to scare you a bit, but also to get you to have a good time with your buddies, laughing at the effects, joking about the umpteenth moron going to check out the sound they just heard in the basement. They were never about the gore, or actually trying to honest to goodness creep you out. Scare you? Yes. Make you feel grossed out? Sure. But never to really disturb you and I feel that is the huge feeling that comes out of these new horror films, they want to disturb me. I dont need to be disturbed.

So Jason, welcome back buddy, but I wont be joining you this time around.

Well it would...

2009-02-13T09:09:00.000-08:00

So there hasnt been really any pop in amongst these Up songs. It isnt because I hate pop music or anything, I think that it is just a reflection of the fact that I tend to choose to listen to rock when I choose the music myself. When I listen to the radio though, as I do most mornings when I drive Candace to work, I get to hear some pretty good pop. This morning this song came on and I was reminded it needed to go on the list. It is crazy Up, it is schmaltzy and unabashedly fun and I really dig that. I also find I like songs that dont mince words and try to be overly poetic, especially when it comes to love. This song for me represents kind of an outburst, something you might say just as you think of it, maybe in passing as you are going about your day together. I know I have felt this exact sentiment, in fact I think I have actually said to my wife....

My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson

Silent Jungle Cats = AWESOME!

2009-02-12T13:21:00.000-08:00

My favorite band has yet to make it on this list. Part of the problem is there are a lot of songs that come to mind for them and while there are doubles on this list it could easily travel into triple or even gagillion territory....

This is when Def Lep is past their real heyday, from an album called Euphoria. Thing is, if it was one any of their earlier albums when they were huge I think this may have been one of their biggest hits. Sadly, it is not known as well by most but you cant deny the driving rock sound and catchy riff that make this a truly Up song...

Promises by Def Leppard...

An Ode to White Spot...

2009-02-12T13:06:00.000-08:00

So I had White Spot for lunch again. Specifically a Bacon Cheddar (BC) Burger and fries. I dont get them that often because I have to be over Langley way at lunch time for it to be convenient, but when I am.... ooooh I think naughty things about White Spot.

A couple of times since we moved here Candace and I have craved their burgers so bad that I drove all the way there, past McD, past A&W, past Wendy's, past numerous other burger purveyors just to get that special taste we love so much. Seriously, it is THAT good. When I buy from there I cannot wait till I get home, I have to have a few fries on the way, this is the only place I get food from that I do this. They are just so awesomely crisp on the outside and soft and potatoey inside, and they are skin on which I looooooove. The burgers taste real, I dont know how else to say it, but they taste like perfectly seasoned beef. The bacon is done crisp and crunchy and the tomato and lettuce are always fresh. And dont even get me started on their signature Triple O sauce! Basically it is mayo and ketchup relish mixed together but both are homemade and both are WICKED.

So here's to you White Spot! May your fries always be crisp and never limp. May your burger always be juicy and your Coca Cola always cold!

It's nothing personal

2009-02-12T13:02:00.000-08:00

Queen is freakin awesome. Freddy Mercury is the BEST rock vocalist of all time. PERIOD. You can try to make arguments for someone else all you want but you are simply wrong. The guy had a 7 octave range! A voice that could fit just as well in opera as it could in Rock. To top it off Queen is one of the biggest rock acts of all time with a ridiculous amount of #1 hits. This song always makes me laugh a little, a strange and awesome ode that you cant help but sing along to. Be careful though, sing it in the wrong place and your looking to get punched in the unit.

Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen

It's a tiger... and it's see through...

2009-02-12T12:58:00.000-08:00

I got to see these guys live in a bar for my birthday a while back. This tune has been an up tune for me since I was in high school and I still remember actually rewinding the tape to hear it again.

Glass Tiger was a quality Canadian band and I think its a shame they didnt really last and become a Canadian institution like Rush or Bryan Adams. They had a whole schwack of great hits and this was my absolute favorite.

My Song - Glass Tiger

American Idiot

2009-02-11T21:57:00.000-08:00

OK, I know American Idol is somewhat fixed, there are certain people the producers want in the show because they are entertaining and not through their singing but this year... I am sorry they have just stretched it beyond the realm of any kind of believability. Am I really supposed to believe that out of the 1000's of people who auditioned that this hosebag...

(And yes, she is this annoying all the time. And she looks at the camera to see if they are still rolling while she reacts like this)

And this guy...

Who is admittedly doing a character, but holy cow!

Part of it is that there was a particular guy cut that both Candace and I liked who got cut who was absolutely ROBBED. The guy looked and sounded like Usher, who, even though he may not be your cup of tea is huge bank in the music world. I'm not sure whether I am going to stay with it this season as a result.

SO LAME!

Highway runs...

2009-02-11T09:56:00.000-08:00

Man Steve Perry can wail. This song reminds me of the 80's a lot, and of Rodney Dangerfield for some reason...

I think it is one of the most Up songs that will end up in this list. It's not about the destination, it's about the...

Journey - Dont Stop Believin'

Man I am a cheeseball... it's about the Journey!?! Ugh...

Mind your Manor

2009-02-11T09:49:00.000-08:00

Today I go to the Manor, Zion Park Manor. I havent been there since before Christmas as it wasnt my turn and then they had the Norwalk virus. I actually enjoy going there, we sing songs for a 1/2 hour and do a devotion together. I have found that older people will forget almost everything in life except for the songs they learned as a kid. Some will be meeting me again for the first time for the 30 time and yet they know all the words to "In The Garden". This has helped me realize the necessity of knowing these songs so that when I get old and forgetful I will have them to cling to. Those songs are full of promise and hope and they make you feel good to sing them.

I also get to visit a lady who is the oldest in our congregation, I'll have to tell you about her sometime as she is totally awesome!

Yeah

2009-02-11T09:45:00.000-08:00

One word title, and slang at that. Yes, the words are pretty iffy but dang if this song dont get your butt moving you may as well get a butt-ectomy cause you just dont need it.

Yeah by Usher

Where'd this guy learn to dance...

Somebody

2009-02-10T13:32:00.000-08:00

I just wrote an album review not that far back about the album this song is from so I dont really feel the need to say much other than the fact that even after 3 months or so of constant radio play I am still compelled to crank this one when it comes on.

Nickelback - Gotta Be Somebody

Surge

2009-02-10T11:15:00.001-08:00

As I look at my stats, I see that I am on the cusp of an anniversary. I am coming up on my 300th post. Expect to see a surge in the writing over the next week or so as I kind of want to get to that landmark, and I am already working on what that post will be. Until then some of it will be Up Songs, maybe a few stories and some jokes, whatever it is I hope you will enjoy it.

Journaling has always eluded me, I used to hate the very idea of writing my thoughts down and having them on record. I have often felt the same way about pictures. I have never put my hand up to deny a shot but at the same time I am not super keen on being in them. For some reason the idea of there being a record of my existence is not something I have been interested in and at times I feel like if anything I campaign against there being a written or visual record of me and if you asked me to put my finger on it I couldnt. But this blog has changed everything for me, at least in terms of the written part. It has made for some interesting exchanges over time, but mostly it has been a creative outlet for me so heading into this anniversary is kind of cool. It represents change in me, and I think the 300th post will reflect that!

I know I say it sometimes, but maybe not enough. Thanks for reading! I appreciate you taking time out of your day to stop by my corner of the interweb. Have a good one!

Stronger

2009-02-10T10:34:00.000-08:00

So far the songs have been rock (most of them will be I suspect, as that is the way I lean). There are a few songs of other genres though, that I really enjoy, and I have picked them up from the radio exclusively. One of them is this tune that I really love. It samples Daft Punk pretty heavily, so far as to make one hope they got a writing credit for the song it is used so much. This version adds some percussion though that I really dig and I do like the rapping as it adds a certain drive to the song that the original lacked. Say what you want about the performer, I personally think he is a bit of a douchebag from what I have seen of him in interviews and stuff, but he certainly knows how to grab a listener and pump them up...

Stronger by Kanye West

Van Hagar

2009-02-08T08:11:00.000-08:00

Continuing the list of Up Songs is a song by Van Halen that I loved from the very start. I am ashamed to admit it, but I am very much a fan of Sammy Hagar's time with the band and not so much David Lee Roth. I mean, I like David Lee Roth, I just love Sammy Hagar. When I bought "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" I was too naive too realize what the title meant (hint: look at the first letters), I was just beginning to really get into Rock and Roll. Extreme was big, Def Leppard was still big, Aerosmith... good times.

As far as I know this song was not a huge hit for VH, but it is an awesome song to make you feel pumped when life is going well... so here it is...

Standing on Top of the World by Van Halen...Live!

Up songs

2009-02-05T16:30:00.000-08:00

OK, so I have thought about do this feature for a while now so its about time I acted on it.

I was thinking a while back about the perfect car CD, the perfect playlist of songs that would always be cool to listen to, always be exciting. Now I know that this is impossible in the sense of being played over and over again. No song can withstand being played ad infinitum, but within reason I would like to try and put together a playlist over the coming weeks through a feature I will call Up Songs.

Lyrics have nothing to do with it, neither does tune really, more the overall feeling of a song is what I am looking for. When I listen to it does it make me feel good? Do I get excited to hear it? Am I tempted to hit repeat right as its over? Those are the kinds of songs I mean. Some you will know. Some you will not. Some are simply nostalgicfor me personally and remind me of up times, but hopefully they will make you feel the same way.

Ultimately the purpose of this is to give you a chance to hear positive sounding, catchy tune, that'll make your day a bit better. It will cross a lot of genres but all will have the same purpose... to make you happy. Where possible I will include the music video.

So here is number 1 on the playlist (and these arent in any kind of importance order)

Word of Mouth by Mike & the Mechanics

Mike Rutherford of Genesis formed this band as a side project (I think, my music history is rusty and I am too lazy to check) and they cranked out a few Up Songs. This one is one I had forgotten about and feels like a gem I got back today when I heard it in the car. It is what got me off my butt to do this feature. Hope you like it.

25 Random things (from Facebook)

2009-02-05T11:04:00.001-08:00

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, fact, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it' because I want to know more about you.

To do this, copy and paste these instructions first because you will need to "paste" into your list for explanation for the tag-ees. Click on your name at the top of the page and then click "notes". When that opens, click on "+Write a New Note". Paste the info you copied into the body and then write your 25 random things. Then click on "tag people" and select 25 Facebook friends. Type the first name and it appears. When finished, scroll down to the left-hand corner and click "preview" to check yourself... when satisfied, click on "publish". Voilaaa!

As much as I love TV and movies I cant help but feel like sometimes it is like a thirst to know more useless knowledge that serves no real purpose. It feels like a circular problem, I love to know more about shows and stuff than others, but no one cares that I know it, and still I thirst for more.
I am a spoiler hound in pretty much every area of life. If I could know my presents early I would, if a person has a secret that would be better waiting, I want to know now! At first I thought it was just with pop culture stuff, but this has been ingrained in me a loooong time.
I enjoy listening to the Rifftrax versions of movies more than just watching the movies by themselves. This is true of every rifftrax I have watched thus far.
I have an ego, and it's a pretty big one but I have learned to keep it in check over the years for the most part. Occasionally I am a pompous ass though, and God sorts me out pretty quick on that front.
I am a cat person, and after trying to own a dog for a week I realized how true this is. I think dogs are cute and wonderful but cats have the right amount of misanthropy that I like. I like that cats get grumpy, it makes them seem more "peoply" if that makes sense.
I collect animation, I do this because I hate the idea of my kids growing up with a lot of the terrible animation that is out now. I cant wait to watch it with them.
I have picked up the habit of talking to much about the things I know about. Someone will ask me how a book was that I read and while I will not spoil it, I will talk about the authors other works or similar books or whatever until I realize I have been talking just too damn long.
I don't miss alcohol as much as I thought. I quit drinking even socially because I always felt weird (like allergic reaction weird) after even a beer. As a result, I feel better and don't really miss it. I will still have some port or scotch occasionally though.
I quit drinking pop too. I drink carbonated water when I go to restaurants. Turns out I like the fizz more than anything. Plus I can feel hoity toity if I get to order a Perrier or San Pelligrino.
More than anything I love to make people laugh, it makes me feel good to do that. I like the challenge of meeting someone new and cracking them up, especially if they are a bit of a hard nut with humor.
I hate it when I cant figure out how to make a person laugh, it drives me crazy and secretly I want to tell them they are dead inside. Notice my ego coming in here as there is simply no way that I am not funny ;).
I wish I was more well read. I love books by Dickens, Twain, and all the classics that I have read but so often I turn to Stephen King when I want to read and the idea of reading a classic feels like work, the irony of being an English geek in school I guess.
I have caught myself wondering what has become of kids these days more often than I would care to admit. I swore I would never do that because I hated that attitude and yet here I am doing it. I don't think kids these days are bad or anything, I just wonder about the decisions they have to make and why they make them a certain way.
I am a huge extrovert but lament the fact that I have to spend so much of that extroversion on people I work with. I want to spend more time with friends and yet when I get home from visits and stuff sometimes I just cant even think about even talking to someone on the phone. Thankfully my wife is always the exception.
I used to be crazy afraid of all things death. I hated funerals and doing hospital visits. I hated that occasional feeling you get as a Pastor that you are the last person to see someone alive. Now things have changed. There is so much wisdom and peace in people who have accepted the whole idea of death that I think it has rubbed off on me. I don't look forward to doing funerals mind you, but when they come up I appreciate the chance to provide comfort and reflect on what an amazing thing life is.
I love to play video games but constantly feel like I am stuck in the amateur phase of playing, there is no way I could make a living at it.
I collect things. When I was a kid it was rocks, then comics, then well… it became apparent that if there is a set of something I want all of them. This has gotten expensive at times and I have therefore been more careful to choose wisely what I collect.
I love hair metal more than any other kind of music. I know its cheesy, I know it sucks, I just love music that doesn't always have to be saying something. Did they write it to say something? I hope not because it just doesn't. It is my sincere hope that Sister Christian was not written to explore the bands deepest philosophies on things for example and yet it is a kick ass song.
I secretly want to be Don Draper from Mad Men because he is the coolest freaking guy on the planet. Minus the womanizing part though.
I love Superman. This is not because of his powers, it is the notion of a man with the powers of a God choosing to serve people instead of dominating them. I admire his integrity and his view of the sanctity of human life and consider them to be the most important traits of a true hero.
I wish I knew why Stanley Kubrick is so highly revered in the film industry because I have seen pretty much all his movies and none of them strike as particularly more or less amazing than any other director. To me he was average at best. Making movies that seem artistic, that no one understands seems to get you a reputation as an auteur in film. Well, I am calling Emperor's New Clothes on that one.
I love peanut butter so much I eat it straight up off a spoon sometimes.
You should probably decline peanut butter at my house because sometimes I double dip.
I have a brain like a sieve when it comes to remembering important things. I have a day planner but forget to bring it with me sometimes.
I have a fish tank in my office. I put it there. I kind of hate it but cant stand the idea of killing the fish to empty it out and get rid of it. Plus the thought of emptying the tank and figuring out where to put it when I no longer use it makes me feel like its easier to keep it. I DO like watching them sometimes.

Fun fact II

2009-01-27T10:06:00.000-08:00

My wife informed me that it was 25 years ago today that the King of Pop lit hisself on fire while filming a Pepsi commercial... which is why Coke is better and will always be better. Coke would never light someone's hair on fire, Coke isnt mean like that.

Fun fact

2009-01-26T15:59:00.001-08:00

So I woke up with this strange thought in my head this morning…

Even though he has saved the world a whole bunch of times, not to mention reality itself, even though he was raised in Kansas as a foundling by the Kent's, even though he is an American icon along with apple pie and baseball, Superman could never be President of the United States because he was not born on American soil. The things I wake up with I tell ya.

Me? I cheer for Okalnad!

2009-01-21T10:44:00.001-08:00

I hadn't eaten lunch yet and that deep pit feeling was resting in my stomach. A bottomless hole of hunger was threatening to make me faint and I decided I would the 15 minutes between shut-in visits to grab a bite at the Wired Monk just around the corner from my next stop. I got a yogurt and a Strawberry Cream Dream which tasted like a milkshake made with ice instead of ice cream. Still it fit the bill and I felt better almost immediately after I began to eat. This particular purveyor of roasted bean goodness resides in a heritage home that was restored in the last couple of years. The intent had been to tear it down for another strata controlled complex but when the locals stepped in and had it declared a heritage site, the builders had to work around it AND spruce it up. The main floor is split in half by the old school stair case that greets you when you come in. I chose to sit on the right side, facing the till, so I could watch the people as they came in. I love to people watch, maybe that's weird but I enjoy just seeing characters when I can.

A fella came in to get his usual, from what I understand he is there everyday. He was wearing a pretty cool jacket with the old skool Raiders logo on it (it may still be the same) The guy in the helmet peeked at me from the man's back, the crossed swords underneath, the helmet on his head letting me know he meant business. Just in case I didn't understand the symbols the word Raiders was printed above in all CAPS. I must have waited a little too long to get my food though, that must have been it. I did feel a little cross eyed and I do wear glasses. There is no way I am seeing what I think I am seeing. It flashed through my head, "How do you spell Raiders? R-A-I-D-E-R-S right?" I am sure that's how you spell it. I blinked a couple of times. No, it wasn't me after all. This man did indeed cheer for the…

R-A-D-E-I-R-S

Big. Bold. Right there. R-A-D-E-I-R-S.

I began to smile as my mind began to race. Really? Does the guy know his jacket is a knockoff? That the team's name is spelled very very wrong? I had that same feeling that I had when a friend went to the washroom at the Laundromat near school and came out with toilet paper stuck to his shoe (sad to say I couldn't muster the courage to be the one who embarrassed him, I let a stranger do it instead). Do I tell him? Surely he must know (but don't call him Shirley)! How can you not notice that the team's name is spelled wrong? Then I wonder, did he pay full price for this jacket? Somehow I think a guy that hadn't noticed this issue by now could very likely get ripped off like that. It dons on me that I am heading into horrible person territory and begin to wonder whether hanging out with Jerry, Elaine and George as I have been lately in the evenings may not be having a great affect on my psyche. So no, I didn't ask him about it, to be fair he never wandered in my direction. I did something else. I took out my Blackberry. It has a camera. The cool thing about this is that I can take a picture while making it look like I am checking appointments. Yes, I succumbed to the temptation. I snapped a shot. It isn't on here yet but it will be once I enhance it a bit (he was a ways away and the camera isn't the best). I thought I was being sneaky too… until the artificial camera sound went off (WHY do they do that, why not a pleasant beep or something? All things advanced tech and it makes a sound like a shutter in need of maintenance. How about the sound of a pterodactyl pecking the image into a piece of rock, nice and modern!) and the lady behind me starts trying to figure out why I would take a picture of that guy. It takes her a second and then I see the look on her face… she's spelling in her head… R-A-I-D-E-R-S…

Probably

2009-01-20T11:52:00.000-08:00

Written in response to this article:

I dont know if I get this whole thing. I dont believe atheists are devil worshippers, in fact I have never heard that from a Christian. Am I really supposed to believe that atheists are persecuted enough to warrant a campaign like this. Should atheists have as much say as any other group? Sure, but to say what? By nature atheism is the idea that there is no God or Gods and therefore nothing to believe in beyond this existence. In and of itself it cannot be a religion because there is no system of belief. In the marketplace this would never happen. So what then is there to advertise? Hey hey everyone, listen up! We have nothing to sell you! Come to our store and buy nothing! I guess I just dont understand why these groups exist if not to come against people of faith and be the "No there isnt" to the "There is a God." of believers. What do you need to defend? If you want to believe in nothing, believe in nothing. Why do you need to declare, "I BELIEVE IN NOTHING!" Good for you, now what can I learn from that exactly? There is nothing to refute, nothing to ponder, there is nothing in the end. What about life after death? What about the purpose of existence? What answers do you have for existential questions? Nothing.

On its own merits I find it funny that the ad says, "There is probably no God." Probably?!? The core of atheism is that there is no God. All that "probably" does is call that into question. There is also the misunderstanding that God is someone to be afraid of which is an assumption on the part of the group about those who believe in God and yet Christians do not feel they need to be afraid of God beyond a sense of awe and thankfulness. I dont worry about what God thinks of me because I know He loves me. If the group attempted to understand this about Christians and other religions, then they would realize the ad is not an accurate portrayal of most religious beliefs that include God. In addition, if you want to say, "We dont believe in anything" Then say so, but by saying, "There probably is no God." There is by nature an attack on those who believe otherwise. People of faith do not believe that there probably is a God, they believe there is one. So to say there probably isnt is meant to deny that. Saying it isnt that way is just silly. Let it be what it is and dont try to convince me otherwise. If atheists want to have ads... so be it. As any group they always have the right to say what they wish. But accuracy and fortitude would be a good thing if they wish to share their thoughts.

More power to ya

2009-01-12T08:10:00.000-08:00

I love the world of tech a lot. Last week was the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas and as usual I watched some of the highlights on the net and saw one technology that kind of blew my mind. Powermat to me is one of the most amazing leaps in tech since the cell phone. What is powermat? Well, the first demo I saw made my eyebrows raise in which a guy with a small adaptor hooked up to his cell placed it down on a mat... and it started charging from the mat. "Huh, that's cool.", I thought to myself. Then I saw the kitchen demo, similar the one below. I do apologize for the host of the video, he has a certain face-punchable quality to him, but I think the tech will speak for itself...

Yeah, you saw that. A mixer with no plug that just works when you put it on the countertop with ZERO risk of electric shock. More importantly no worrying whether you have enough outlets in the kitchen.

Now how about this... they showed a wall with the same technology built in that is also magnetized. Need a lamp in a certain spot? Stick it to the wall wherever you want to put it. No more wiring fixtures or being limited by pre-existing wiring. This is vry cool stuff. How about an entertainment centre where all you have to do is put a TV, computer, whatever down on it, and it works with no plug. You combine that with other wireless tech and we could soon see a home where all you have to do is put something, anything down where you want it, and it'll work. The TV will sync with the stereo and the game system or disc players. Man, what a cool world we live in.

Wait... it gets funnier

2009-01-11T08:57:00.003-08:00

Saw this and thought the first bit was awesome then got to the very end and laughed out loud.

Yada yada yada

2009-01-10T13:12:00.000-08:00

So I know this may come as a bit of a shock to some of you... but I never watched Seinfeld when it was first on. Part of me thought it was dumb, part of me just didnt have time for another sitcom. I repent, I should have watched it back in the day. Candace and I have been watching through the seasons and I must admit it easily ranks up there with the best comedies of all time.

I find it crazy how many of the episodes, whether through phrases, siuations, or well anything, have made it into our modern culture. As I watched the episode "The Muffin Tops" I found myself wondering if one of the writer's is kicking themselves for letting that idea go as Muffin Tops are now something you can buy in the store (not to be confused with Muffin Pants by the way). Which came first I wonder? If the show first coined this idea that is pretty freakin amazing as the worlds of comedy and baking seldom have such a huge impact on each other. Not since the cream pie fight phase of comedy anyway.

The characterizations are genuine and honest, and I think if we are truthful with ourselves there is more of Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer in us than we might like to admit. What we think they said out loud, the situations they get themselves into reflect our own preposterous stories that cannot be retold but must be lived.

So there it is, I am lovin Seinfeld. And now if you'll excuse me I have to put on my puffy shirt and head out to do some dancin'

Sweet fancy Moses!

Random stuff

2009-01-03T09:06:00.000-08:00

First of all... Happy New Year to you and yours! Hopefully your Christmas was quiet and old man Winter wasnt too hard on you. We got cooped up at home and it was the best thing for us!

I do a lot of shopping on Amazon and it always amazes me what some people will charge for new and used DVDs as a seller through them. How about 75 bucks for season 9 of Seinfeld when I have never ever seen at a retail store for that much! Or maybe Fawlty Towers (which retails for 19.99 on Amazon) for 88.94! Who buys these things? Why would someone pay that much for a DVD they could get literally anywhere else? What are the people posting the listing thinking? If you are trying to sell things, post a reasonable price!!! Otherwise you are just telling people, "Hey, I own this DVD and might sell it, but really I just wanted to show it to you while you were shopping."

For the second time in as many months we are Surroundless. Our new reciever, which replace the old one that died, was malfunctioning after only a month we took it back. No more Sony receivers for me. I now am holding out on a few Blu-Rays I want to watch so I can watch them in true High-Def sound when our new reciever comes.

Just looked outside... huh, it is really freaking snowing out there... again. OK, I am ready for this to stop now...

Big deal!

2008-12-26T14:57:00.000-08:00

Ah Boxing Day! I love a good deal (who doesn't) and this year I thought I'd see what I could dig up online and scored huuuuge... on one thing. I feel like I used up all my "deal karma" if you will on one things, but it is a pretty cool one thing. I got the entire He-Man series (the old school one I grew up with) for 40 smackers! Arguably the best deal I have ever gotten on a set before. Here's the problem, every other deal I have gone hunting for has sucked big time. Amazon has a bunch of crap on for not very cheap. Futureshop sold out of almost everything else good on Christmas day. Rogers advertised great deals but when I went to the store I was met with complete garbage to pick through. Three for two used Blu-Rays is only good if the selection is there, it wasnt. 2 for 40 video games is awesome, if only they had any kind of selection! I came back empty handed, the promise of good deals gone. Oh well, I got my one, and as Spiderman says, everybody gets one!

Boxing Day Movie-thon 2008

2008-12-23T22:10:00.000-08:00

OK, so here is the outline for the annual Boxing Day Watch-a-Thon. The Viewer's Choice options are below with respective links. We are gonna try out Rifftrax this year (which is why you need to not panic about Batman & Robin. I watched the Rifftrax for Transformers and it was hilarious), and I am adding in a few shorts that should provide some good laughs, and the TV and Cartoon blocks are the best episodes of the respective series according to TV.com

Trailers

Moonwalker

Short – Are you Popular? - Rifftrax

Trailers

Batman & Robin – Rifftrax

Short

Trailers

Viewer’s Choice #1 – The Wraith
They Live
Escape from New York

Short

Trailers

Viewer’s Choice #2 – Star Trek: First Contact
Hard Boiled Boondock Saints

Short

Commercials

TV Flashback

Commercials

Cartoon Block

It's freaking snowing.... a lot!

2008-12-17T11:29:00.000-08:00

OK now I know all you prairie folks are going, "Oh boohoo, a little snow, what have you got like 3 inches." (which sounds like an entirely different and wholly unsavoury conversation but essentially the point is the same) Yes we probably have only a few inches at this time, the problem is that you also have a million people who drive like its a sunny day in California when it snows out. A million people turn into instant morons because they figure if they drive an SUV the laws of physics in regards to ice and friction dont apply to them. On the bright side I can watch Canada's Funniest Home videos tonight in the form of the local news as people attempt to prevent themselves from sliding by slamming on the brakes and into three parked cars or by stepping on the gas because it has helped them get uphill in the past.

As I look out the window it is really coming down out there, I cant see more than a block or so past the wet sticky snow. The bigger issue is that the inlaws are coming in today at the Abbotsford airport and I have to drive out there. It will be a gong show of the highest gongage. Good thing they came out here to get out of the cold and snow.... hahahahahaha.

2010 tics on Melist

2008-12-11T09:11:00.000-08:00

As I was returning home after dropping my wife off at school I heard a kind of irritating article on the news, to me anyway. The lottery for the 2010 Olympics was yesterday in which those who entered got the chance to get tickets for specific events... and then promptly posted them on Craigslist and Ebay. The report then went on to say that the Vancouver Olympic committee has people trying to sting these folks selling tics by posing as buyers and when they find out who they are they will cancel the tics and make new ones for "deserving" people. The part that irks me is that VanOc is actually putting resources into policing this!

Personally I really dont have an issue with scalping or re-selling tickets. If an individual bought the ticket and someone is willing to pay more for it then who cares, why spend the time and effort to try and monitor it? The event is still getting the revenue they expected, nothing changes except for the identity of the person in the seat, why get all bent out of shape over it and go so far as to police the dang thing!?! It also makes me wonder about people who genuinely did want to go but now find themselves more in need of money than premium seats at the Arctic skeet shooting (I hear Finland is the favorite!) given the downturn of our economy.

Mesmerized by the Lights

2008-12-02T14:51:00.000-08:00

So I put the tree up this weekend (I decided it was high time given that liturgically it is now advent and everything. If I had my way I would put it up on my birthday but I digress...) and went about the task of stringing it with lights and garland and a few decorations. We have more to put up but have stalled out for now. It stands off the end of the couch where I put my feet up on our sectional couch and it looks very pretty.

My mother tells me that as a small baby she would place me in front of the tree and I would look intently at the lights in all shapes and sizes, including the ones with the crazy hot liquid inside that bubbled, praise the Lord they remained intact while I was looking at them otherwise my folks would have had the latest Christmas craze, Baby Napalm (now with terrifying burst into flame action!) on their hands. I would be perfectly content to sit and watch them blink and shimmer. Eventually I would fall asleep in little Christmassy bliss with visions of sugar plums dancing in my head.

Our lights are pretty boring by comparison, they don't blink or play music or anything except sparkle a wonderful white glow. They do, however, have the same Pavlovian effect on me. I have already fallen asleep looking at them three times since the tree went up on Saturday. I am not complaining really, I could us a nap or two lately, I just think that the drooling snoring me now is likely not nearly as cute as I was back in the day when I could still poop myself and feel good about it.

Just for one day...

2008-11-28T11:41:00.000-08:00

When exactly did Heroes start to suck... a lot? I feel like it completely snuck up on me. I got behind a couple of episodes behind (which may have been a signal right there) and it just hit me last night how let down I feel by this whole thing. It is hard for me to put a finger on it, but if I had to sum it up I just dont friggin care anymore. Where is the emotional impact, where is the big reveals and the feeling we are heading somewhere with this story. As convoluted as Lost got in its second season you still got the impression that you should try to bear with it, try to keep going. I feel like I now officially have to watch Heroes because I like comics. THAT'S IT!

Part of it is that I read an article about Heroes that mentioned a couple of things I had completely forgotten. Does anyone else remember that Peter left his Irish girlfriend in the future? The crazy ass dystopic future where things are scary and the last we saw of her she was being carted off and thrown into quarantine? Anyone? What about Micah, who at least got a nod this season but has been so written out they actually made his mom (Ali Larter) a completely different character! And his cousin that had that totally cool photographic reflex power (she could see someone do something like Kung Fu and then repeat it) GONE! Adam Munroe who they spent so much time setting up last season as a very important figure shows up just long enough to GET KILLED! Basically if you watched season 2 it feels like the writers are not only telling you it didnt count but they are also spitting in your face. Why invest in a character or a show if there is no respect for them in the writing room? Top it off with firing Jeph Loeb and his partner off the show and you have a complete mess. Thankfully Pushing Daisies got cancelled (if you liked it I apologize) and its creator can go back to writing Heroes. Here's hoping the next arc "Fugitives" is at least decent. There is no way a show with this cool a concept should suck.

On a similar and brief note, Smallville this season has been incredible. For a comic book fan like myself its a total geekfest but I also think it is genuinely good TV.

I'm in the movies

2008-11-24T16:27:00.000-08:00

So yesterday Candace and I went to hang out with our friends and they gave me a birthday present that is one of the coolest things ever. You're in the Movies is a party game/total blast in which you play mini-games using the Xbox Live Vision camera. After 4 rounds the game compiles all the video of your movements like running on the spot or swatting at wasps and edits it all together to make a movie (ie you swatted at wasps in the game but in the movie you are a monster batting at airplanes sort of thing). The camera has some issues cutting the people out of the background and the lighting is picky that way, but the game is a lot of fun to play. Today I discovered a feature where you can upload your movie to the net and retrieve it to download and then post wherever you like. So without further ado ladies and gentlemen I give you Andrew and John in... Made of Men! Despite the fact that the role John took was the gender neutral "flower seller" the role would seem skewed to be a woman's part.

5 cent posterior

2008-11-20T14:06:00.000-08:00

Their songs all sound the same! This was my cheif complaint about Nickelback, who is the current frontrunner for the most number of times a band has used the phrase "paperback novel" in their music, but not any more.

I picked up their new album the other day, mostly because I cant get enough of the new single "Gotta Be Somebody". It has a brilliant, driving, positive beat to it that is just totally amazing and the lyrics are pretty cool too. It makes me feel good which is always a good thing. There was also something strangely familiar about it, almost nostalgic. As Candace and I sat and listened to it last night (we do that from time to time, actually listen to an album while doing nothing else but just listening) a strange and familiar pattern began to emerge. The music sounded like Nickelback but it also sounded... Candace said it first I must admit. She said, "This song sounds like Def Leppard!" which made no sense and perfect sense at the same time, the sound was definitely similar, the harmonies and percussion very familiar. On another tune Candace said, "This one done differently could be a country tune." and again I was thinking that exact thing and then a thought came over Candace and I simultaneously and she looked at me and said, "What if this album was produced by Mutt Lange?"

In the late 80's Bryan Adams released Waking Up the Neighbors, a kickass return to some real rock n roll. Every song had these crazy catchy hooks and that album had like 400 singles despite only having 18 songs on it. Around the same time, like within a year or so, Def Leppard released their album, Adrenalize and I simply could not stop listening to it. I had it on tape and actually had to buy it again six months later because I literally wore it out. I too was your average ordinary everyday dude, although I was not driving with my baby which was good because I wasnt sure what kind of mood to get her into. I loooved both albums and one day I listened to them back to back and discovered something odd. The songs sounded exactly the same! The harmonies, the percussion, the riffs. Some of the songs could have been interchanged. Something about these bands was connected. I read the jackets on both of the tapes and made my discovery... produced by Mutt Lange.

So it turns out we werent crazy for thinking of Def Leppard listening to Nickelback, but what struck is how attuned my ear is now to recognizing Mutt Lange's stuff. For years he has been producing Shania's stuff and therefore been generally out of the rock scene but no that they've split he is branching out again and into mainstream rock and the result is amazing. They sound like Nickelback, although paperbacks are now safely in the second hand book store where they belong, and they sound like Mutt Lange, which means it is a sound that is brand new and yet wonderfully familiar. I enjoy every song on the album and can only hope that this is the first of a couple of albums they'll do together. Just good stuff if you really dig driving rock and roll and tight harmonies.

The best part for me was something I said as we were listening through a couple of songs and before we talked about Def Leppard specifically, and that was, "I havent had a real instant attachment to an album like I feel right now since I bought Adrenalize way back when." Turns out there is a reason why!

La Vita e Bella

2008-11-18T13:59:00.000-08:00

or as the French say, "a certain I don't know what..."

You know what? Life is good. I am happy with work and family, I look forward to the months and years to come, I enjoy being where I am when I am there. If life free from challenge? No, but a life without challenge is no fun at all. Christmas is coming, time with friends and family, some of whom I only get to see once in a very blue moon. Yep, life is good. I am not trying to be a prat or rub things into anyone, it's just how I feel right now, and since I shared some difficult stuff on here I wanted to share something good. Its a nice feeling to sit down and realize there is very little to worry about, very little to drag me down!

I love the way life works out sometimes, how it dips between our own feelings of mortality and struggle for signifigance, and the wonder that comes from seeing God at work in the world through children, through nature, through everything. This life is we have is pretty dang cool huh?

PSWeak

2008-11-13T17:23:00.000-08:00

OK, dont get me wrong. I know how blessed I am to own a PS3, and I know it is a luxury item but can I gripe for a second? For the umpteenth time since I got the thing I sat down to play a game only to have the game on startup announce it needed updating at which point I let out a cry of emotional anguish. Why? Well, because you never know what these updates are gonna look like. Sometimes it'll be 32 meg sometimes bigger. I was excited when the new add-on for a little diversion game called Pain came out, so I download it and sat down to play... game needs an update... OK... 211 meg, which with the PS3 will take like an hour... and this happens with many different games. What the crap? After being a PC gamer for years I switched to consoles so I wouldnt have to deal with installing stuff all the time and now it turns out the PS3 does the same dang thing, and in this case you get no warning, and the best part is... you cant do anything while it is updating... you just have to let it go... no background download... no watch a video while its happening... just let it go. I mean I wanted to play PAIN but this is not what I meant...

Epic Fail

2008-11-12T11:19:00.001-08:00

Can we just admit something to ourselves as people trying to live our lives together in society. Can we admit that from time to time we are not only capable of failure but in fact we do actually fail at times? Last year our principal returned from a conference and said they had a discussion about changing the color of a marking pen from red to purple because red has taken on negative connotations and it makes the students feel like they are failing. This confused me, shouldn't we let someone know if they are failing? If someone is on the road to stupid town and not realizing the need to turn back shouldn't we tell them with a red X, the same red X we all received when we were in school. I also found out recently that it is now uncommon for a student to ever have to repeat a grade. You can repeat a class but repeating a grade is not really an option, and it would seem this is because we are worried about damaging their little psyches about failing. Doesn't this road ultimately lead to stupid people who are never wrong? I'm wrong all the time and it doesn't make me feel bad about myself or ruin my self-esteem. In fact, it's nice to know I'm not perfect, and that no one else is either. Recognition of this makes us cut each other slack when our screw ups involve our fellow neighbors and citizens. If I change lanes and don't see the guy to my left I can wave and beg for forgiveness, if I trip at the store it is the difference between a sympathetic look and people pointing at me and calling me a moron. Failure is not only an option in life, it is an inevitability, and I can either be a loser about it or admit that I am just like everybody else. You know where I learned that? In school, through red marks on my page and getting bad grades every now and again. In order to succeed you have to know you can fail.

A buddy introduced me to something recently call failblog and there you can see all kinds of people and things failing at all kinds of endeavours. Skateboarding, basic science (including a hilarious tirade on daylight savings being bad because that extra hour of sun is frying the earth), and all manner of silly things we all fail at from time to time. I would encourage you to visit the site, and to celebrate failure, because without we would have no way of knowing when we have succeeded, and how sweet those successes really are!

see more pwn and owned pictures

see more pwn and owned pictures

see more pwn and owned pictures

Jurassic Disclosure

2008-11-07T14:47:00.001-08:00

I surfed onto Yahoo to discover that a favorite author of ours had passed away. Michael Crichton had died at the age of 66. It sucks. He was a prolific author and I enjoyed many of his books. They were never close to being what one would call literature, more "yarns" and I loved that about Crichton. His books were predictable, fun, at times inane, and yet he dealt with subject matter that was complex morally and ethically. I loved that I could contemplate the right and wrong of technological advancement while thrilling ot folks being eaten by Velociraptors. His stuff was always just a lot of fun to read and for the most part I enjoyed the movie adaptations of his books. The original Andromeda Strain is still a favorite of mine that I remember watching with my dad as a kid.

Crichton also created an icon of modern TV, ER. Candace and I have lamented the direction of the series in the last few years but for us it was a chance to sit and enjoy some riveting TV as we were dating and on into our marriage. In fact, Crichton helped us to establish a tradition of reading aloud to each other on road trips and when we go to bed because of his book "Prey". I had bought it for Candace and as she read it I asked what it was about and she replied, "A swarm of nanobots are on the loose in a remote lab and they are trying to kill the people." I needed to know how it all played out of course and it was a lot of fun to share that story together.

It is sad to me that he has written his last tale, and no doubt a book will be released posthumously, whatever it may be. His ouvre is complete now though and like any writer I enjoy it sucks to know that his imagination has ceased speaking. I struggle with what to say because I didnt know him personally and yet I feel his loss because of the loss of those new stories that will now never be written. It is the same way I will feel when my other "pulp" favorites like Clive Cussler and Stephen King eventually pass away. I admire people who tell good stories. I admire what Michael Crichton was able to do. He made me laugh and think at the same time. He made me roll my eyes yet flip to the next page, he had a talent for that. What else is there to say but thank you even though he will never hear it. Thank you Mr. Crichton for writing stories, for bringing your ideas to people and letting them read them and think about them. Thank you for making me imagine what it would be like if someone cloned dinosaurs, or what it would be like to try and fight a swarm of tiny robots. Thank you for Green, and Carter, and Ross, and Frank, and and and. Thanks for using your imagination to fire mine.

I...

2008-11-06T12:55:00.000-08:00

Saw this on a friends blog and thought it was cool and as I have been uninspired to write the last week or so I figured I would try this out...

i am... hopeful for the future

i want... to be a father

i have... all that I could want and more

i wish... I could talk to my grandparents, just once, to catch up

i know... a lot of things I shouldnt and not enough of what I should

i hate... relative truth

i fear... wanting to be a hero to someone and failing

i hear... my fishtank, burbling away

i crave... comfort food. warm, Autumn, comfort food

i search... for collectibles

i always... misplace my keys

i usually... find them

i am not... as weak as I once thought I was

i miss... living in Edmonton

i love... my wife more and more every single day

i never... want to wonder how I got to a certain point in my life, but to have been as intentional as possible

i rarely... feel sad

i cry... at a sentimental movie

i lose... myself in the music of Coltrane, Mozart, and so many others...

i am confused... as to whether I should be excited or fearful for what is to come for our neighbors to the south

i should... be working

i worry... when I have nothing else to do

i dream... of the joy that is to come and the hope I have for our future

Spontaneous Elmer...

2008-10-29T15:13:00.001-07:00

So I had kind of a funny moment today. On Wednesdays I go and lead singing at the Manor near the church and do a devotion etc etc. I am tired today for some reason, really tired and I had been having issues with speech and the phrase tried and true (or something like that) came out twied and twue and my voice got all crackly making me sound exactly like Elmer Fudd. Thankfully my laugh which followed did not sound Fuddified.

Grief

2008-10-23T08:29:00.001-07:00

Grief is a funny thing, one minute you think you are past it, the next you are feeling physically ill from trying to keep it away from the surface. There is enough space between the event not that I feel like I can talk about it, and I am discovering I need to. Candace and I lost a baby in May to a miscarriage. It was an emotionally and physically exhausting event that left us both feeling sad and bitter. I cried a bit at first but after that I tried to move on. I didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl, or really anything, so feeling so so sad just didn't seem right. I pushed it away, somewhat successfully… until a wedding in June. This was supposed to be the time we told Candace's brothers the joyful, now hollow, news. As the wedding progressed I was finding myself more and more irritable. More and more upset to the point where I had to go get some air. As I sat and I thought it occurred to me that we had no news to tell, we had lost a little life and it really really sucked. It was then that it all came out of me, a torrent of tears, and the realization that this was going to be a process. I found my wife and we talked, we decided to tell her brother Troy the news, and he and his girlfriend handled it perfectly. After that I felt better, like I had let it come out. I thought I was done.

Shortly after that I started to feel sick on a regular basis, at times barely able to breathe. Leading worship became a laborious task of trying to get through it without feeling like I was going to burst. I was breathing all wrong, raspy and anxious. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why. Two things happened in the last couple of weeks that have changed things. To be honest I don't remember the order, just the events. First, friends of ours had their baby, which was due about a month before ours. My first thought were of them, how proud they must be, how happy I was for them. The second was that I couldn't believe how much time had passed, and how different things could have been for us by now. I passed over it. I denied it really.

The second event was the catalyst. We got a dog. Rather we tried to get a dog. For a week. Paddy was an awesome puppy and we loved him. He was well behaved, sweet, and very very loving. The moment we brought him home we felt like we had made a huge mistake. This was too much. Candace brought up the idea that maybe we were trying to replace the baby. Nah, I said, too long ago, that is the past. My heart sank though, she was right, and I was not being honest with myself. The breeders had a return policy and it turned out we could give Paddy back, no harm, no foul. I kept telling myself I was doing it for Candace to support her in her grief. I was being stubborn, I was also getting more sick. As it turned out the best day to take him back was Friday morning, when Candace would be at work. It would be up to me. I bumped into our Senior Pastor's wife, a wonderful, loving, and caring woman and I asked her to come with me, that was the first tear that came. It was pouring rain as we waited in the parking lot for the people to come and get their dog, who sat quietly, sweetly in the back. As we talked more tears came and Anne asked, "Does this have to do with the baby you lost." A dam broke in me, I had run out of fingers and toes to plug all the leaks, I fell apart.

It's hard to see your friends with kids, its hard to see kids in general when you want that for yourself. It is hard to feel angry with the full knowledge that there is no thing to be angry at. It wasn't our fault, it wasn't God's fault, or anybody's fault. Those feelings seep out into the times when you feel pangs of jealousy at the families that surround you, pangs of loneliness when you realize you don't just go back to the way it was before. Even though it is just the two of us still, it feels like something is missing. And to top it off you have to face the fears of trying again. How am I to be excited and terrified at the same time. Will it feel like and interminable time of torture wondering if this is the day it all starts again. Will it be easier, do I want it to be easier really? Candace and I are both emotional people, and its hard to face that possibility, to stand up under those thoughts. And yet, consider what comes if it goes fine. New life, new joy, new everything.

I don't have all the answers and I think I tried to fool myself into thinking that I did. It has helped me to share this because part of the problem for me was that I felt like it was some sort of shameful secret. We needed to be strong and not let on to people that we were hurting. Some of that comes from concern that there are those who may not be the best at handling it and therefore shower us with every difficult to hear platitude in the book. But really it is me not wanting to admit that I am not strong right now, I need to hear those things if this whole thing is to be real to me so I can move forward. Since last Friday, I haven't been getting sick as much. The knot in my gut is ebbing away slowly. I had the best worship leading experience last Sunday, I actually felt hopeful and excited. The neat thing about admitting grief is that the benefit is nearly instant. The balance begins to return almost right away. I want to move forward now. I want to feel my grief as much as I need to. I want to be sad because it is OK to be sad. I just want to grieve and let it come.

Yearbook Yourself II

2008-10-12T07:27:00.000-07:00

Here are some shots before I was born. Used the ol flux capacitor to get these ones. The hard part was getting the 1.21 gigawatts of power needed to get the time machine up to 88mph... it's complex you wouldnt understand although I think there's a movie in there somewhere.

Circa 1952

Hey daddio, want to go get some malts and hit make out point... with some girls...

Circa 1954

Hey daddio, want to go to the malt shop and act like its 1952?

Circa 1960

Sweet 1960, bring on the Bob Dylan and the hippies, hopefully they'll all swing by the malt shop...

Actually my dad was in school around this time, those shots look a little too familiar...

Circa 1968

Bring on the 8 tracks! I hear they are the newest and most reliable technology...

And now as a bonus punishment... My real high school photos...

Gr 8

Gr 9

Gr. 10 - 1990 Get your skis shined up, grab a stick of juicy fruit...

Gr. 11 - 1991 *cough* Skid *cough*

Gr. 12 - 1992 After high school Andrew went on to do many things, his hair also went on to do many things just not with Andrew...

One weak

2008-10-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

This week I have:
1)Gone to a conference, which was pretty cool, and yet I cant shake this feeling that I cant stand going to them. I like to see my friends and catch up, I dont like session after session that I feel does little overall to impact my life. The speakers aren't bad, the matters being discussed are good, just not for me.

2)Gone another week with a fractured foot bone (which they apparently do nothing about now). It hurts somewhat but the Charcot-Marie Tooth has taken care of most of the pain, which both makes me feel tough and frightens me a little.

3)Double booked myself and felt like an idiot. It seems like no matter how much planning I do it still happens on occasion and it bugs the crap out of me when it does. It's sorted now but I feel less professional when it happens.

4)Gone through a transformation of sorts. I bought a new suit, some new shirts and ties, and that is my new wardrobe for work. I like it, I love it actually, I am however bothered by the "what's the special occasion?" cracks. It wears thin quickly and doesnt encourage one to keep it up. But I did this for me, I am finally moving past college clothes and brain and moving in to the adult world.

5)Watched the best episode of CSI ever. I cried, not simply because a main character died but because of the way it was handled. The emotion, the pain, and the loss all rung true to my own experiences and I think that was very cool.

6)Had my feeling about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull totally validated via South Park.

7)Bought a free-range organic turkey for thanksgiving. It was 40 dollars. I did not know that a non-organic turkey (which are usually made of lead and mercury apparently) runs about 15 bucks. This turkey better taste like awesome drenched in supercalifragilistics and be expialadelicious.

8)Seen our kitchen get so near completion it can be called done. The trim got done yesterday and I would like to publicly thank Dodd for his help, the man is a genious with home improvement stuff.